I did get to go out later that afternoon when Abe got home to finish running my errands.  Abe was wonderful & kept both kids for the hour I was out.  I hit Verizon for a portable wifi device & then Wal-mart for the antibiotics.  There was a lot of standing in line which tested my patience.  Walking to checkout I spied the women’s section & something in bright pink.  A quick detour showed that yoga pants (the nice ones from Danskin) were not only in my size (I was hoping) but a very reasonable $12.  I knew time was running short so into the self-check lane, a quick stop at Subway & off to home.  Everything was well under control when I got home (much to my relief but not to my surprise).  Marit was ready to eat so everybody had dinner & we vegged out on the couch.  I tried on my new pants and after a little LOT of obsessing decided they don’t look awful & I can wear them in public w/o being openly ridiculed.

Wednesday night was not a good night.  Magnus was up a lot with his ear ache & Marit decided she didn’t want to sleep her normal 4 hour cycles.  Thursday dawn found me blearily dealing with diaper changes & finding all the stuff I needed to take along for a day at my sister-in-law’s house.  Her usual daycare helper was gone so I went over to lend a hand with the 5 kids she watches.  Add in my 2, her 1 & the one kid that comes after school is out & it was chaos.  All of us were exhausted when we crashed at home later that night.

In the meantime (great, now that song is gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the day…) I was listening to Falling Deeper by Anathema & trying to formulate a review for Dante’s Prog Blog Inferno.  I was procrastinating as I much prefer to be the silent editor & gal Friday over there.  However there was much insisting that I get with the program & just write already.

Friday morning I was able to sleep a little later & we had a nicely relaxed start to our day.  Errands & browsing for home decor with my sister-in-law Jilli in the afternoon went fine & the kids were great.  We ended the night with dinner out at Tinner’s (mmmm… egg & cheese burger), dessert at PeachWave (blueberry cheesecake fro-yo is teh nomz) & eventually home to tuck the kids in bed.  I attempted to write my review that night but didn’t get more than the opening paragraph done.

We were out again on Saturday morning & moving considerably more slowly.  Abe helped my brother & sister-in-law pick out doors for their basement which is slowly being finished.  Then the guys went to unload the doors & do “man stuff” while we girls (Marit included) went to the giant craft show at the convention center.  I popped Marit into her sling & into the hoard we went.  There was a lot of nice stuff but I was mainly there to browse.  I did find a very cute dress, knit hat & headband w/flowers for Marit in one of the doll clothes booths.  I looked in some of the other booths for a Halloween costume but didn’t get anything.  I may have to look again & get one of the fairy dresses…they are too cute for words.

After all our roaming about was done we spent the night in & relaxed.  I finally managed to write my review & then it was bed where we all got a pretty decent night sleep.  Today is football day & the Vikings haven’t totally fallen apart….yet.  This week should be a quiet one though we are hoping for a visit from Grandma B.  Hope you all have restful weekends & can face the week ready to tuck & roll as each day comes.

I’ve moved from northern Minnesota to southern South Dakota (forests & beautiful Lake Superior to corn fields & wide open plains).  I’m pregnant with my second child.  I’ve witnessed births, deaths, weddings & divorces.  I’ve made some amazing new friends, reconciled with dear old friends & shed people who weren’t good for me.

So in light of all that I’m going to share some of the favorite, most interesting, posts that amuse me.

In Arsenal of Impossibility I explore my evil genius side & plot my eventual world domination.  Who doesn’t like miniatureized (and easily controllable) natural disasters & ninja midgets?  Then there is of course The Great Rock Magnet Escapade—follow me as I am tasked with spending a ridiculous amount of money on polished rocks attached to magnets…really one of my better pre-parent shenanigans.

No mention of my writing would be complete without a mention of The Bra Rant (Lots of great comments on that one…) and the various poetry I’ve posted.  On the other hand I could be wrong.

Thanks to my readers for sticking with me, for occasionally leaving a comment & for not throwing hard objects at my head.  I hope you stick around & see what comes next.

Recently it was announced that a new edition of Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn going to be released.  The reasoning for the new edition is the use of the n-word throughout the text.

The word occurs more than 200 times in Huckleberry Finn, first published in 1884, and its 1876 precursor, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, which tell the story of the boys’ adventures along the Mississippi river in the mid-19th century. In the new edition, the word will be replaced in each instance by “slave”. The word “injun” will also be replaced in the text.

The new edition’s Alabama-based publisher, NewSouth books, says the development is a “bold move compassionately advocated” by the book’s editor, Twain scholar Dr Alan Gribben of Auburn University, Montgomery. It will have the effect, the publisher claims, of replacing “two hurtful epithets” in order to “counter the ‘pre-emptive censorship‘ that Dr Gribben observes has caused these important works of literature to fall off curriculum lists worldwide.” ¹

Surely Mark Twain is going to spend years haunting the people who approved this.  Writers (at least the really good ones) choose words for a reason.  They use words to evoke a sense of place, to provoke the reader into the mindset that will carry the individual deep into the text.  Twain’s use of the n-word was very deliberate; part of his social commentary on the era in which the use of such language was prevalent.  That word today is verboten, as it should be, in common speech.  However, to remove it from a text such as Twain’s Huckleberry Finn or Tom Sawyer is not only censorship but also a revisionist version of history.

Our society is so consumed with avoiding the possibility of offending others that we have tossed common sense & critical thinking out with our unrecycled styrofoam.  How can we learn from our history if we are so busy snipping, patching & denying what happened?  Yes there was a time where people used racial slurs on a regular basis…it is a sad part of our past.  We cannot pretend it didn’t happen–doing that not only rewrites the past but it also negates the work done by civil rights activists.

When I was learning about these stories in elementary school we discussed the mentality of the times, the language, customs etc. We were taught why the racial slurs were unacceptable…not just in school but at home too.  Now we treat our children like mushrooms…keep them in the dark & feed them a fine line of crap.  Rather than use Huck Finn as a discussion tool we sanitize it to make sure nobody is offended.  Our educational system should be the finest in the world.  Instead we are rewriting history, smoothing over the ugly parts of classic literature and generally removing the process of critical thinking from learning.  We are creating children who accept whatever they are told.  There isn’t any reason for them to examine what is right & wrong (or socially acceptable–think Golden Rule).

Sanitized literature (and history) does no favors for anybody.  It keeps us from learning, from repeating the mistakes of past generations…as Satayana famously said, “Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it”.  I shudder to think what we are dooming our children to repeat by not remembering & teaching our unvarnished past.

It’s that time of year again when all the writers take pen in hand to participate in National Novel Writing Month.  It’s a way for them to accomplish a lot of writing in a relatively short amount of time. The official website has all the information including rules etc. Some of the writers I know set up websites where you can follow along (once you register) with the writing, provide feedback if you choose & observe the process of creating a novel.  If you are looking for some great writing & are interested in this process I highly recommend following David Niall Wilson as he writes Scattered Earth.  Also this month is National Blog Posting Month…well every month is NaBloPoMo…anyway.  Here bloggers make a commitment to post something on their blog every day for the entire month.  The official website contains all the information & also prompts for what to post each day.  There is all sorts of information on the site & if you are interested in either event I encourage you to visit the websites & see what’s going on.

I’ve always wanted to write a novel.  Since I was a teenager I’ve felt that somewhere inside me was a book waiting to be born.  However, I have not yet discovered what that book might be…I mean I can’t even post to my blog with any regularity (not to mention I don’t seem to have anything of interest to say) so a novel is a bit beyond my ken. I am considering some ideas to make this space a little LOT more interesting…I haven’t decided yet if or how I’ll implement any changes.  I’m also thinking of doing a month of blog writing but this month is definitely not it…Mostly because I’m caught up in being a mommy.

Speaking of mommy stuff— Magnus tried rice cereal for the first time the other night. He is most certainly NOT a fan. The little bit I made he ended up wearing.  So we will wait until after Christmas & see how he feels about it then.  The other big thing going on is I’m off my meds right now.  Due to a whole range of circumstances that I don’t feel like explaining I’ve been unable to refill my prescriptions.  I must say that going cold turkey off a combo therapy of anti-depressants sucks mightily.  It’s been a week & every day is very difficult.  I spend a lot of time crying or fighting back the tears….if Magnus weren’t in need of care I’d probably never get out of bed.  He is my saving grace right now. Every day I start with the attitude that I will survive until Abe comes home. So far it’s worked.  Other than that I’ve got a multitude of questions without answers.

I don’t know what I’m doing…which for me is a huge problem.  I always want to know where I’m headed.  I like to have a plan of action, a course to follow, a map to read.  I don’t mind taking detours if I’m not just wandering aimlessly.  It’s the perfectionist (no that doesn’t apply to my housekeeping…I’m a slob when it comes to that, don’t judge me or I’ll point out your spelling & grammar mistakes) in me; the control freak who needs to know what’s coming.  I dislike, no make that loathe, change.  There’s so much going on right now & I’m a mess…I’m talking total disaster!  It’s “call for federal aid, Hurricane (insert name here) has hit” time.  It’s “She can’t take no more Cap’n, she’s starting to break” type stuff….

It’s been nearly 22 months since Abe was last employed.  He’s done odd jobs here & there, taken every dollar of unemployment available, tried to make a go of Black Ash & More, applied for every job between here & Bedlam…problem is there just aren’t jobs.  The few that are out there (and it’s VERY few) mostly don’t even make it feasible for him to drive to work ‘cuz the pay is so low & the number of miles too great.  Of course I can already hear the “you should move” comments.  If only it were just that simple…

We don’t have the finances to move…without going into that whole matter let’s just say that coming up with 2+ months rent isn’t going to happen.  We’ve cleaned out the retirement accounts ages ago, our savings is gone…our credit….well we won’t go there either.  Anything positive we had going came to a screeching halt 2 years ago & we’re sinking now.  Not to mention the logistics….

Of course there are benefits…Abe can get a good job again.  It’ll mean a lot to him & I will do anything to support him.  Moving to the location we are considering would put us closer to his brother in Missouri & a lot closer to my family all of whom I do miss.  Yet we’ll be further from his dad, his brother & wife and their boys up here.  We won’t be that stone’s throw from the North Shore & all the places we’ve grown to love.  The places that refresh my spirit & inspire my soul…the places I’m proud to know & to which I want to play travel guide for visiting friends.  Will I ever visit again & feel the wonder that sinks deep into the core of me?  I don’t know…right now everything is clouded.  I’m not good with change…even when I want to make it.  Right now I don’t want to make a change even though my logic tells me that it is what I must do.

I’m afraid….afraid that I’m never going to feel like me, that the people I care for & consider to be my close friends will decide that I’m too much work (I know, I know…my real friends won’t do that…doesn’t make the fear any less real), I’m afraid of losing myself.