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Posts Tagged ‘observations’

Boobies on Parade

17 Apr

Lying in bed this morning I was chatting with Abe & we were talking about Baby.  Not a big surprise since right now that’s the biggest thing going on with us.  Baby Fred was busy showing off & making known how strong s/he is.

Of course I got to thinking about what it’ll be like after Baby Fred is born & we go about our lives.  For some reason the idea of going out to eat & needing to nurse popped into my head.  Now I don’t have a problem with women breastfeeding in public…I was breastfed as were all my siblings.  I’ve seen tons of women do it in every type of public space.  It’s a very natural & ordinary event to me.  Now here comes the but….

I think there are women who abuse the idea of breastfeeding.  They whip out the tit & parade it around for the world to see while touting their “right” to nurse their child.  Hey you have every right to nurse….you do NOT have the right to wave your milk-laden udder in the faces of every person within the line of sight & then complain when a) they stare or b) they ask y0u to cover up a bit.  Seriously if you think popping out a boob in the middle of a restaurant isn’t going to attract some looks you’re out of your ever-loving mind.  I’m not saying you have to slink away into a dark corner & hide under a giant tented blanket.  I do think that a bit of propriety, some semblance of modesty, is in good taste.

Where did all this ranty-ness come from you ask… well quite simply from this news story.  It all started on Easter Sunday when this woman nursed her child in a busy restaurant.  I’ll let you read the story rather than rehash it here.  Basics are she & her family were asked to leave.  She claims it was because of the breastfeeding…the restaurant claims it was because her male companion was loud & verbally abusive to employees.

Now I’ve eaten in the restaurant in question.  In fact I’ve been there with my sister-in-law Anne, her 2 kids & her husband.  At the time the youngest E was nursing.  He got fussy & needed to be fed before we left.  So Anne (who is far more modest than I) proceeded to breastfeed right there in our booth.  No fanfare, no big production & no controversy.  She simply took care of business & that was that.  In fact we’ve been in restaurants all over the place where E needed to eat & there was never a problem.  Nobody got offended, pitched a hissy fit or asked us to leave.

Why?  It’s very simple.  Anne simply didn’t feel the need to flip her shirt up to her chin, expose her entire breast & create a scene where she drew attention to the moment.  Granted there were people that noticed.  I know that employees of the various establishments saw, in fact many times a waiter/waitress would come by the table to see if we needed more service or to deliver the bill.

Basically I don’t see a reason why there has to be such a brouhaha about the whole issue.  Women have breasts, women with infants tend to breastfeed.  Get over your feminist inclinations to force everyone to recognize your “wymynpower”.  Just take care of your kid, keep yourself modest (I’m not talking burqas here, but maybe a receiving blanket or a burp cloth) & get on with life.  I can guarantee you there are a damn sight more important things than your boobs that need attention in today’s society.  If you really need to put your boobies on parade head on down to Mardi Gras.

 
 

Thanksgiving & Being Grateful

30 Nov
So I’m going to pull out my English geek for this post & put her on full display.  I’ve been thinking about Thanksgiving (like everybody else in the US) & how at this time of year we focus on being thankful.  I am thankful for a great many things in spite of the very hard year we’ve had.  However, I was talking to the divine Ms. Davis & she said not only was she thankful for me (wow, I like that people feel that way about me) but also grateful.  It made me think about the two words & how they seem to be very similar.  So I fired up my google & checked Merriam-Webster online for the “official” definitons.  What I found gave me reason to do some serious thinking….
Main Entry: grate·ful
Pronunciation: \?gr?t-f?l\
Function: adjective
Etymology: obsolete grate pleasing, thankful, from Latin gratus — more at grace
Date: 1552
1 a : appreciative of benefits received b : expressing gratitude <grateful thanks>
2 a : affording pleasure or contentment :
pleasing b : pleasing by reason of comfort supplied or discomfort alleviated
Main Entry: thank·ful
Pronunciation: \?tha?k-f?l\
Function: adjective
Date: before 12th century
1 : conscious of benefit received <for what we are about to receive make us truly thankful>
2 : expressive of thanks <thankful service>
3 : well pleased :
glad <was thankful that it didn’t rain>

I’m going with definition 1 in each case.  The first thing that struck me was the way benefits are recognized.  In being grateful there is an appreciation of benefits received while with thankful there is conciousness of benefits received.  That difference pulled me up short.  So many times people say they are thankful for their family, job, house, food etc. (there are always things for which to be thankful) but how many people are grateful for these same things?

Being grateful means that you appreciate the benefits & not just merely recognize that they exist (thankful).

Main Entry: ap·pre·ci·ate
Pronunciation: \?-?pr?-sh?-??t, -?pri- also -?pr?-s?-\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): ap·pre·ci·at·ed; ap·pre·ci·at·ing
Etymology: Late Latin appretiatus, past participle of appretiare, from Latin ad- + pretium price — more at price
Date: 1655
transitive verb 1 a : to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of <appreciate the difference between right and wrong> b : to value or admire highly <appreciates our work> c : to judge with heightened perception or understanding : be fully aware of <must see it to appreciate it> d : to recognize with gratitude <certainly appreciates your kindness>
2 : to increase the value of
synonyms appreciate, value, prize, treasure, cherish mean to hold in high estimation. appreciate often connotes sufficient understanding to enjoy or admire a thing’s excellence <appreciates fine wine>. value implies rating a thing highly for its intrinsic worth <values our friendship>. prize implies taking a deep pride in something one possesses <Americans prize their freedom>. treasure emphasizes jealously safeguarding something considered precious <a treasured memento>. cherish implies a special love and care for something <cherishes her children above all>.
Now I suppose you are wondering exactly what my point in all this is…after all thankful & grateful are tied together pretty closely.  Well mostly my point is that while I have certainly been conscious of the benefits in my life I haven’t necessarily been terribly appreciative.  After all I’m certainly thankful for my family, friends, house etc etc etc…but I have failed (sometimes miserably) in expressing that attitude.
I’m not being critical of myself like I tend to be normally when I have fallen short of a mark (whether it is one of my own making or not) although I am adding it to my list of things to be more aware of doing in the future.  With the horror of 2009 coming to a close & the big big changes of 2010 speeding toward me I am grateful, thankful & blessed for my life, my husband & my dear friends who are close in spirit if not actual distance.  Please remember to be active in showing your thankfulness not only now but also every day of the year.
 
 

Seen Your Weiner or Why I Prefer Hooters

09 Nov

Lately life has been hectic & overwhelming to the point where I’m a hot mess.  Recently I’ve been off work quite a bit (ok in the last 2 weeks I’ve worked a total of  5 days) and it has reinforced my need to be done at my current job.  However I digress…this post is a review.  As a recent music reviewer (which I so enjoyed & hope to do again) I now take pen in hand ….ok keyboard in hand…to give you a review of a new restaurant in Sioux Falls, SD.  If you are looking for an adventure in eating I will admit that Señor Wiener is an adventure.  However, it’s a frightening adventure filled with double entendre of the lowest caliber.  There is nothing clever about the innuendo & even less cleverness in the menu.

Purporting to be a novelty hot dog restaurant this place lays on the schtick with a trowel.  Wieners, wieners everywhere & no relief in sight (bring your R O L A I D S–just so you are prepared).

the front window

Now from the outside there’s room for a few snickers & groans at the over the top signs.  Just inside the door is a large statue of Señor Wiener along with posters of our “hero” in iconic places/events.  The menu is basic & has the potential to be pretty good & seemingly inexpensive.  The offerings start with bratwurst, all beef hot dogs, corn dogs or Polish sausage.  Choose your white or whole wheat bun & whether you want grilled, boiled or fried.  For $2.50 it seems like a good deal…then the pick-pocketing begins.  For every additional topping that’s hot (chili, cheese, grilled onions etc) or every cold topping (onions, pickles, peppers, shredded lettuce, shredded cheese, mushrooms, olives etc) it is an additional $.50 & sauces (mayo, hot sauce,barbecue sauce, gravy) are an additional $.25 with the exceptions of traditional ketchup & mustard.  Seriously if you want a Chicago-style dog with all the fixings: onions, relish, tomato, kosher dill pickle & sport peppers your hot dog now costs $5.00 plus tax.  Add in fries at $2.50 & a soda at $1.50 and you are looking at $9.00 plus tax for a very mediocre meal.

Now for the rest of the restaurant…okay I get why Señor Wiener is funny in the most sophomoric of ways.  I mean the first time I heard it & saw it I snickered like a 13 year old.  It’s funny but the over-the-top nature makes Hooters seem less absurd.  Here’s a small taste of what I encountered ….

the booths

the bonfire accessories

using the bonfire accessories--umm YIKES!

for the girl with no shame

stating the obvious

stating the obvious 2.0

I don't know what he's doing but I don't want him parked in front of my house....

All in all I will take a trip to Hooters any day.  Sure there’s more butt cheek on display there than I really care to see & if I wanted to look at that much cleavage I could do it for free at home but their wings are pretty damn tasty. If I am going to tolerate body parts (or pseudo body parts) with my meal I want something that is more like actual food & less like a chew toy for my dogs. Besides let’s be honest–I’d much rather have some hot girls serving my food than a snotty nosed teen with a wiener complex.

 
 

Cave-ing

11 Oct

I’m feeling like a trip down memory lane again today & this is another one the that makes me laugh ’til I cry &/or snort.  Whenever Abe really wants to make me laugh he will mention our one & only “real” vacation.  Back when life was good & full of promise we decided to take a vacation…so I planned a week long trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota.  I booked online & we chose the first week in October. (I will never go there during the summer again if I can avoid it…it was heavenly to be there & avoid the crowds.)  A lot of the tourist traps were closed but the good stuff was open & we were able to wander around without feeling like we were in a herd of cattle.  When I booked online I chose a package which included passes to the Badlands, Mount Rushmore, Wind Cave & Custer State Park among a few other things.

The Badlands was amazing & we spent a glorious afternoon off-roading through the southern part–totally alone on the windswept buttes & as we drove out at sunset we were lucky enough to drive through the herd of buffalo.  We were so close we could nearly touch them.  They were completely undisturbed by our presence so we coasted along for quite awhile watching them.  I was lucky enough to experience a truly primitive moment when one of the large bulls looked me right in the eye as we drove past…

Anyway, one day we drove to Wind Cave National Park…this was my first time in a cave & although I am a bit claustrophobic I was a trooper (at least I think so….) and just held my breath when I got scared.  It was amazing & beautiful — some of the best scenery I’ve ever had the pleasure of photographing.  Someday I’ll get ambitious & post them here.  One of the most memorable things about the tour was our guide….

Picture, if you will, a tall woman…ordinary in every way, very pleasant manner & the speaking cadence of Keanu Reeves in “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure”.  Yes you heard me…suddenly all I could see was Keanu in drag…it is a memory that both haunts & amuses me.  In order to give you the full experience please take a trip with me into the cave….(this is all in a California surfer voice…very nasal from a woman born & raised in the Midwest) It went a little something like this–

“So, like there’s tons of cavers (I’m thinking what in the world is a caver?) in like Russia & Mexico.  They’re super great & like laid back and stuff.  So if you think you wanna go caving (the English major shudders even thinking that word) like just go & you’ll like have the awesomest time.  I mean I went caving in Mexico right? It was just really like so fun.  All these people just like hang out in caves, ya know, and explore.  There’s just so much cool stuff to do when caving….there’s the tunnels & the crawling around….and then there’s like just all this really cool stuff to see.”

Now I understood what she meant when using “caving”….I am fairly well-read & I love words so it wasn’t that I had trouble grasping the definition.  However, I am much more familiar with the term spelunking ….the word “caving” falls into that horrible place where words are turned into verbs for no good reason. I personally don’t understand it…just saying.  Well, the monologue went on like that for some time…since just typing like that has given me a nervous tic I must stop there. ( It was amusing & yet horrifying as Abe & I had to listen to that for over an hour.  I nearly threw myself into a pitch black hole to avoid it but Abe restrained me & promised me a stiff drink if I could soldier on.  If I can find the video we took (I believe we have audio of the guide talking) I may have to attempt an upload so you can get the full effect.

We did have a great time & it was fascinating to see all the formations. The one thing that always comes back to us though is the “caving” & the “cavers”….so like anybody wanna go caving & like totally have the funnest, most awesomest time ever? (in my best Valley Girl accent).

 
 

Art in Real Life

05 Oct
Okay so I am beyond exhausted today (started this on Thursday…it’s now Saturday & everything still applies) & don’t really know what to say.  I wanted to get some writing done today but the fates were against me (like that’s news…those bitches are always against me) so I lieu of writing I’m going to post a bunch of pics I took while being drug through the Minneapolis area today.  I got to go to a super excellent place that is FILLED with stuff reclaimed from old houses & available for sale should you find the need to buy an entire study, confessional, baptismal font or front porch.  There were so many amazing things….welcome to the inner workings of my mind–you can see what I find interesting, beautiful & just plain too odd not to photograph for sharing with the world.
stained glass windows

stained glass windows

sparkly beveled glass

sparkly beveled glass

gothic chic

gothic chic

random Jesus

random Jesus

fancy front porch

fancy front porch

old time rocketship

old time rocketship

my throne!

my throne!

I loved this store so much! There were so many more things & I can’t wait to investigate a few more stores in Minneapolis.  I think it’s great that all this fantastic (and odd) old stuff is being refinished, refurbished & given new life.  There is so much we fail to appreciate from the past….seeing these get a second life gives me a hint of faith that our disposable society can find value in our past.

 
 

I Just Don’t Even Know Where to Begin

20 Sep

Since I truly don’t know where to begin with everything I am just going to let my fingers walk across these keys & see what comes out….No forethought (a big thing for me…I like to know what direction I’m headed.  I don’t mind detours or the scenic route as long as the general destination is planned out) on writing this or if I’ll even publish it.  My brain is a gooey mass right now.  I’m sleep deprived after a bout of insomnia the last couple of nights like I haven’t had since before August.  I am sitting here in “my” chair with the laptop on my new little mini desk (So helpful to have such a handy husband) and I can barely keep my eyes open.  It’s been a quiet & relaxing day…a little grocery shopping this morning followed by a leisurely breakfast & a movie.  Hung my down comforter on the line today to soak up some sun…am looking forward to snuggling under it and smelling the scents of autumn.  We’ve had such beautiful sunny weather this last week.  In fact it was quite a bit warmer than most or our summer.  Still the grass isn’t the verdant green of summer & the leaves are well into their spectacular fiery death spasm.  The next few weeks will show more color gradually emerging & then one morning I will wake to find thick white frost covering my lawn & a blazing Crayola forest around me.  While I revel in the dog days of  summer this year I’m looking forward to it’s demise.  Being over half way through 2009 I can honestly say that it has held both some of the greatest & some of the lowest moments in my life.  I know that in years to come the great memories will take on that golden sheen of a sun-dappled oak–something to be brought out & relived in the quiet moments when I need a smile.

Right now the low moments hold sway…I’m battling something I’ve never faced before & feel completely out of my depth.  I know part of it is being sick & having no answers as to feeling truly better.  All I have are some ideas to get by with & the knowledge that according to the doctors there’s “nothing really wrong” with me.  It is beyond frustrating (and scary) to think of how sick I may have to be before they “fix” me.  On top of that I’m dealing with some very personal issues.  I’ve shared some of that on here already & some of it is kept personal for very good reasons.  I’ve delved pretty deeply into some issues that needed (and still do to some extent) to be dealt with.  Some of that writing has been available for everybody to read, some hasn’t (maybe never will) and some will be when I’ve polished the words to a high buff gloss.  One big thing I have really examined is grief.  There is a lot for me to sort out & I have released some of the deep grief I didn’t realize I was holding onto.  Some of that grief will always remain….it is part of loving deeply & valuing those who touch our lives in meaningful ways.  I will always miss them–Grandpa J, Grandma B, Chris, Justin–but I also learned from their lives & deaths.  As for the other things….I’m dealing with why I value myself less than I should.  I have a very difficult time seeing my good qualities & I need to change that.  Accepting a compliment (when they do come my way) is not an easy thing for me.  I’m more likely to brush it off with a self-deprecating remark than a simple, humble “Thank You”.  Not only is it impolite (I was raised better than that) but it also devalues the person who gives the compliment…and that is not fair to them.  (I am all about fair–I know “life isn’t fair” but it should be & if I can make it more so than I try to do just that.)  There are more things but I’m keeping them to myself.

I have been very blessed in the last couple months to receive an amazing amount of kindness, support & encouragement from a group of people that have graced me with their presence in my Twitter stream.  I have some very dear friends that I met there.  You may laugh behind your hand at me (or maybe to my face) but sitting in a hospital room at night is very lonely–I gained many new friends during those 5 days (thanks to the urging of a dear friend who insisted I needed cheering up) & find them to be delightful.  All of us have our down days where our words don’t flow right or our paints feel lumpy & leaden on the canvas.  When those days plod along there are many others who send words of encouragement & commiseration at the flighty nature of the Muse.  It is like a far-flung artists colony where triumphs & frustrations are shared along the wild interwebz path.  In this digital age it is easy to become isolated in your work, to feel the up & down of your craft alone.  As a very dear friend reminded me this spring, authors (and painters, sculpters etc) used to write long letters sharing their lives, pushing each other to take risks & encouraging each other.  While that era is long past for the most part (to our detriment in some ways) the magic of Twitter let’s us do it instantly & creatively in 140 characters or less.

I guess I’m still on the fence about continuing my writing…while I do love the process in many ways I just don’t know if I can keep doing it.  When i walked away from writing 10 years ago I did it without thinking about it…it just happened gradually.  When I started this blog it was with intent…to chronicle my life so that someday my children (Dear God, ummm….I want kids & I’m not getting younger.  Not that you don’t know but just a posty note reminder.) will be able to know me in a different way.  I also wanted to be able to tell the stories of my life to anybody interested…if they find comfort, encouragement, laughter, joy, peace & love in some small measure than my words have done what I most want to do in this world.  Lately writing has been my way of banishing some of my pain for a brief moment & I’ve come to wonder if I’m not just depressing the hell out of the 2 readers (I know there are in reality more of you & I adore you for reading! *mwah*) I have.  Just because I want to sleep until further notice so as to avoid the random sobbing &  other mood swings doesn’t mean I need to inflict it on y’all.  Add to that the feeling that I’ve fallen into the pit of despair (ROFLMAO… I do so love “The Princess Bride”) and I so dislike this version of me (I’m always sarcastic, outspoken & snotty….I’m just a lot more mean than usual) that I look in the mirror less than normal (which anybody that knows me understands I’ve basically covered all reflective surfaces).  I didn’t know I could loathe myself more than I did before…really a rather unpleasant surprise to find I was wrong.  So I’m putting this out there–more for me to see if I feel that I should continue writing–because I’ve always wanted to be a writer…in fact I am a writer, it is whether or not I choose to actively write.  There is much in me that cries out to be put on the page either as prose or as poetry–whether I am equal to that task remains in question.

 
 

All Signs Say “Huh”?

09 Sep

I’m going to tell you a little tale about a girl, the boy she loves, the job she has, the commission he is given & the villian who tries to dash their hopes & dreams.

This girl, Lin is an average looking girl with glasses.  She loves Troy, a boy who works hard with his hands to provide for their life together.  She works as an office girl: answering phones, greeting customers, writing letters & filing papers.  He is a finish carpenter by trade (although he’s been out of work for a while) & a furniture maker.  They live quite happily on a little acreage surrounded by giant pine trees with their dogs.  It’s a mostly happy life filled with all the usual ups & downs.

One day Lin’s boss asks if Troy would be able to create a sign to hang on the front of the building.  Lin says yes & her boss begins the long process of getting a design approved.  Once the inital design is approved by Lin’s boss & also the bank that shares the building (the bank has to be in on everything as they think the world revolves around them) Troy gets to work.  He spends many hours in his shop selecting the proper pieces of lumber & planing them down into smooth boards.  Then Troy joined the boards together to make the signs.  After months of waiting for a decision from the bank (they were given the task of choosing a font for the words) Lin made a decision.  She urged the two businesses to use the same font as their logos– this was met with a great deal of surprise as it had not occurred to anybody else that this was an option.  Lin & Troy had the local print shop make up the letters in the appropriate size & soon the letters were ready to be routered into the signs.  Before making anything permanent Troy arranged the paper letters on the signs, took pictures & sent the files in for approval.  After a month of waiting the bank finally reached an agreement (after much discussion & a vote of 3-2) & Troy was able to begin the task of actually putting the letters into the wood.  During this process Lin asked what color the letters & signs should be.  Nobody responded…but Lin was persistant & finally got the okay to use a nice forest green color for the letters & the rest would be left natural with a clear protective coating.

After months of work the signs were finally ready.  Troy had worked many hours & carefully planned the project.  He had made certain that each step was approved before continuing.  Over all the project took 6 long months but looking at the finished product Lin & Troy were proud of the work.  Since it was close to the end of summer so Troy made sure he got the signs mounted on the front & end of the building.  He got it done just days before the town would be full of people for the annual town festival.  It was hard work too.  The big sign for the front of the builidng weighed in at nearly 300 pounds.

The day after Troy hung the signs he & Lin stopped by the building to deliver the invoices for the signs.  When they arrived they saw 3 people standing at the front entrance looking up at the sign.  Before getting out of the truck Lin said to Troy, “I’ll just bet they are complaining about something.  You know how they are…if it wasn’t their idea or they didn’t do it then something must be wrong with it.”

Lin was right.  As she walked into the building the people standing outside were busy trying to figure out how to “improve” the signs.  When Troy came back from fueling up he walked right in blissful in his state of being totally unaware of what was waiting.  It didn’t take long until this was shattered by multiple people suggesting ways to improve the signs to make them “pop” more.  (One of the suggestors had been watching many home improvement shows on cable television.)  Angered by the lack of appreciation at delivering a product that was exactly to the specifications requested Troy & Lin left and swore that if that’s how Troy’s hard work was going to be treated they would take the signs back.

The next day Lin had to work & she was prepared to do battle for the boy she loved.  It made her feel sad & angry to see Troy’s hard work dismissed so easily.  The two businesses had asked for signs that matched the log building that housed them.  They wanted something nice yet not too modern so that it didn’t look incongruous with the surroundings.  Troy had obliged with a beautiful wooden design…now the same people who commissioned the work were saying it wasn’t at all what they thought it would be.  When Lin’s boss arrived that day he immediately brought up the signs.  Lin was cautious & curt with her answers at first.  Finally she told her boss how upset & hurt Troy had been at the seeming disregard for all his hard work.  Lin said that it was beyond rude to treat someone in that fashion.  How would he feel if after putting in hard work to create something based on a vague design there was nothing but criticism?  Lin’s boss thought about that & agreed that the presentation of questions & suggestions could have been handled in a nicer manner.  Lin also let it be known that Troy was so upset he had insisted on working the night before to correct some minor alignment issues so he wouldn’t be subjected to more opinions on what wasn’t “right” with the sign.  After more discussion Lin’s boss said that he thought the signs were actually quite nice & that the craftsmanship of the signs was indeed very good.  While there could have been some things done differently with the design it wasn’t anything that was critical to the appearance & that next time Lin’s boss would have a better idea of what to ask for when having a sign made.

Lin passed all of this on to her beloved Troy & the two of them felt appeased.  They set off for a long weekend content that the drama had been resolved.  Little did they know what the next week had in store for them.  It was just as well they didn’t because it would have ruined the relaxing weekend in the country.  After the weekend Lin went back to work & Troy went back to his shop.  Their lives fell into its regular rhythm.  Lin stopped in to ask when they could expect the payment from the bank for their portion of the signs.  It was with great dismay & anger that Lin learned the bank president had made it known that the sign invoice was not to be paid  until the owner of the bank (and Lin’s office) approved the signs.  Lin was shocked & nearly in tears…how could she pay the bills?  The rent was due and Lin had counted on that payment.  With Troy essentially unemployed her small income wasn’t enough to take care of everything.  Troy’s work on the signs & some upcoming projects were their only hope of making it.  Lin’s mind raced as she tried to adjust to the news & not cry right there.  After a moment she looked at the lady who had reluctantly shared the news.  ”Please let Prez SL know then that I will not be paying my rent until the signs are approved”, Lin bit the inside of her lip to keep her voice from cracking.  Finished with her errand at the bank Lin stalked across the hall, past her desk & into her boss’s office.  She explained the dilemma that she & Troy were now in.  Lin’s boss was so pissed off when he heard that the bank was refusing to pay on something they had approved already that he marched over to the bank.  Unfortunately the prez was with a customer but Lin’s boss did talk to the VP & came back reassuring Lin that the bank would indeed pay & in a timely  manner.  Lin felt a bit better that she had more people in her corner.  The longer Lin thought about the matter the more steely her resolve became.  She was risking not only her job but also her home going toe to toe with the bank president.  Of course when weighed against the hurt Troy would be caused if the bank got away with refusing to pay Lin knew that nothing was too great a risk….

2009-09-09_00008
2009-09-09_00006

 
 

Goodbye To Summer-2009

05 Sep
Author’s Note: I started this nearly a week ago…as you can see it’s taken a while to finish this but I’m going to keep writing it as if no time at all has passed.  In fact it may not have as I could possibly have found a way to go back in time & finish this before adding this little blurb but you won’t ever know for sure.

Today being the first day of September & warmer than many of the days in August it seems appropriate to write a goodbye letter to summer.  It’s been a strange summer…much colder than normal so we didn’t do a lot of our normal activities.  No camping, no trip up the North Shore (we will get there before fall is over) and just the normal outdoor activites.  Of course the odd weather only was part of the reason we limited our activities….but that’s been discussed several times & I’m feeling really good today so I’ll let that go.

I noticed today as I left the house at lunch that one of the trees across the way is already showing red…there have been frost warnings the last few nights so it won’t be long until more trees are also turning.

first leaves change color

first leaves change color

As anxious as I was for the bright heat of summer I am nearly as anxious for it to be gone.  This is a much different outlook that normal as I am in love with summer.  I long for the long hot days & the sultry nights.  I have been known to bask in the humidity not unlike a hibiscus flower.  When others are running for the air conditioning I am lounging in state of bliss letting the heat penetrate to my marrow.  It’s the feeling of utter peace that decends on summer afternoons that I enjoy…the distant buzz of a lawnmower running, the grass almost crackling beneath my blanket, the bleached blue sky & the smell of the sun in my hair as I languidly turn pages in whatever book in which I am currently living.  Then the late supper off the grill, sometimes accompanied by a perfectly chilled bottle of wine…sitting back & relaxing as the sun slinks off and the thick blanket of night prowls in filled with lightening bugs & the distant planets winking at some secret.

All of that was missing this summer.  The warmth that was promised in spring was naught but a shiny used-car salesman promise with a bad carbuerator & slow oil leak.  We experienced many days of downright cold days mixed with skies the color of sack cloth & ashes.  The long warm days were instead long damp days turning into nights without the light of stars or bonfires.  Rather than have the opportunity of showing off my pedicure (yes, I’m still obsessed with how cute my toes are) in sandals I often wore wool socks & my winter shoes to work.  The number of times I wore cute summer tops & dared to bare some skin is a woefully inadequate.  So I for one am not feeling a lingering lust for the dog days of summer…rather I am looking forward with hope at an autumn replete with chilly nights & Indian summer days perfect for tramping through my favorite wooded haunts & exploring new ones then ending the day with a blanket in front of the crackling fire of summer’s remains.

 
 

What a Difference a Month Makes

26 Aug

A month ago I was thinking of what we needed to pack for our Art in the Park weekend in Alexandria, MN. We were looking forward to nice weather & hoping for some good sales by the end of the weekend.  I also had a few other things rolling around my brain box.  Specificly the upcoming visit from Abe’s brother Savior (not his real name) which is always a good time.

So the last weekend in July we packed the little trailer & the bed of the truck and made our way to Alex with apple pie hopes.  We were very happy to have our same spot as last year–it’s the ideal location as we are very near the roasted almond ladies & the kettle corn guy.  Plus the view of the lake is nice when we need a break from the madding crowd.

As we started working on getting the canopy set up & the wooden walls installed (Abe’s used our showroom walls this time) the wind coming off the lake felt so refreshing we were very glad to have it.  We got everything prepped for the morning & then visited with my Uncle B for a bit (he lives right next to the park where the event is held) before heading off to our hotel room.  We decided to spend one night in the hotel so as not to impose on my uncle for the whole weekend.  We got checked in & then decided to go out to eat.  I picked a very nice restaurant (not too fancy but great food) & spent my weekend’s fun money on dinner — I wanted to celebrate Abe getting chosen as a featured artist for the event.  A big deal (at least to me) as he got a special mention in the paper in Alexandria.  After dinner we headed back to the hotel to relax for a bit…then early to bed as we had to be up & at the booth before 7 am (yes even I was up that early…and yes I hated every minute of it).  Saturday was cold & WINDY.  Sitting at our booth was less than fun because it was so cold.  In spite of the wind sales were good & we ended the day feeling pretty satisfied.  Fortunately Saturday was a good sales day because Sunday was a total bust.  We sat there & talked to people, answered questions, offered to customize anything they wanted but at the end of the day we didn’t make a single sale.  I don’t think we could have given it away.  A very discouraging end to what is our only show.  We’ll go back though because it’s such an excellent place.  The staff of volunteers does an amazing job!

We didn’t have time to dwell on the lackluster sales though (we were happy to recoup our expenses) as Abe’s brother Savior was coming to stay with us.  So it was work for me, the shop for Abe & cleaning for all.  I took a vacation day so that I wouldn’t have to miss out on any of the fun.  So July 30th arrived & so did Savior.  We grabbed some lunch (and a beer) then hung out at the house & chilled.  Well, I chilled…the boys had more beer & played Wii.  By 4 in the afternoon I had 1 empty pack of beer, 2 crazy boys & 3 people needing food.  Against my better judgement I took them with me to get pizza & movies.  We then hung out & peeped “Watchmen” which I had been wanting to see (bet you didn’t think I’d say that…) & I enjoyed it very much.  Friday we spent the day with more of the family (I have a post about that –mostly pics– somewhere around here) & Saturday we spent at Abe’s dad’s place.  It was chilly & rainy so we just visited & relaxed.

I was not feeling very awesome by Saturday afternoon.  I had been feeling a bit more tired & my gallbladder was bothering me a bit earlier in the week but rather than passing it just got worse.  Sunday I was very lethargic & wondering if I’d be able to make it to work the next morning.  As fate would have it I did not make it to work…rather I got my very first trip to the emergency room.  All of that fun is encapsulated in a series of posts “The One Where I Go to the Hospital”.  Since getting out of hospital I’ve gone back to work.  I’m still not feeling the best but it’s tolerable for the most part.

Other than that we’ve just been wading our way through daily life.  I’m working on some more writing (poetry & what may become a short story or novel) that I’m not yet ready to share with the general public.  I can’t believe summer is almost over (not that we had much summer weather here) & we didn’t get to do most of our traditional summer activites.  I’m hoping for a nice warm fall so we can make at least one trip up to Grand Marais.  Spending a day with my camera viewing my favorite spots & hopefully finding new ones would do more for my mind & spirit than most anything else.  I also need to think of something special for Abe as we have our 7th anniversary rapidly approaching…I can’t believe it’s been that long already.  In some ways it feels like only a short time ago.  Ah well that’s musing that’s best left for another time.

 
 

The One Where I Go to the Hospital–Final Chapter?

23 Aug

When last we were together our heroine was cruising along on a cocktail of pain meds & sedation drugs.  Snowmen were being annihilated by her ever efficient flicks (‘cuz let’s face it snowmen are creepy…with their hollow black eyes & that inane empty smile).

Meanwhile the doctors were still stumped as to what was causing all the pain.  After a battery of tests (all of which came back normal–see it’s a medically proven fact that I’m normal) and no answers I was more than a little upset.  Not to mention that nobody bothered to tell me what the test results were.  One of my nurses was super great (all of them were so nice to me) and filled me in on the parts she knew so I had the barebones idea that nothing big was showing up in the test results.  Since there didn’t seem to be any answers the doctors (I had 2 surgeons, an internist, a gastroenterologist, an ob/gyn & her med student and a general physician) came by my room every day to see how I was feeling.  This mostly consisted of asking how I was feeling (horrible & in pain) & then probing & pushing down on my right side asking if it hurt (Of course if bloody well hurts…holy grief that’s why I came into the ER in the first place.  The dull aching pain from my rib cage to my hip coupled with the sharp stabbing pains in the area of the rib cage).

What did they think I was going to change my mind?  Did it look like I was having fun?? Okay, I’ll admit that for the first 15-30 minutes after getting a brand new dose of Dilaudid I was pretty happy.  Seriously with that stuff you could do whatever you wanted to me & I wouldn’t have objected….well I might have objected but probably not very hard.  In any case Thursday was a day of waiting.  I was waiting for the second surgeon to look over my charts & then visit me.  It never happened.  I spent the day drifting in and out of consciousness….I was so tired!  Abe sat with me and when I was awake we talked, watched some telly & played on the interwebz.  I was feeling pretty dejected by the time Abe left on Thursday night.  We talked it over & agreed that if something wasn’t decided by Friday that I was checking out & going home.

Friday dawned with me in a stupor.  A week of fitful sleep & much poking by nurses, aides & doctors left much to be desired.  We waited all day for the second surgeon to come visit.  In fact we waited most of the day for the general physician to visit.  By the time they both showed up I was in probably the worst pain I’d had all week.  Still they both examined me (by that I mean asked how I felt & then poked me where it hurt) & then decided that since there was no solid conclusion to why I was in pain etc that they would send me home with some prescriptions.  So on Friday evening the nurse gave me an extra dose of pain meds, removed the IV & wheeled me down to the entrance.  I had just spent 5 days in the hospital (without insurance) and the only thing I had to show for it was a hospital bill that I’m terrified of getting in the mail.

Thus ends the tale of my week in hospital.  Putting the events to screen here makes me even more aware of how irritated I am that I have no answers.  While the doctors did acknowledge that maybe my gallbladder isn’t functioning as well as it should they still don’t believe it’s causing the problems I’ve described.  So I’m doing the best I can with what I know.  I’m careful to eat very little & very specific kinds of food…like I can have lean meat (which I try to stick to anyway) or a chicken breast, I can eat Cheerios.  I do know that if I cut out all the fat in my diet that I’m just as likely to have a gallbladder attack as I would if I ate a pound of bacon.  The research I’ve been doing says that even with surgery I only have a 60% chance of feeling better.  HA! No thanks, I think I’ll try something else first.  I don’t mind changing my diet more…it’s something I need to do anyway.  What I do mind is the idea of never enjoying food again…so I’m being more careful but allowing for little indulgences.  I’m searching out alternative medicine such as acupuncture & acupressure along with stuff I may not have discovered yet.  Modern medicine seems to be more about treating the symptoms (my pain) than eliminating the cause of it.  Not to mention the cost of modern medicine.  I’m not saying that doctors shouldn’t be paid well.  I am saying that it’s beyond outrageous that a consultation with an ob/gyn that lasts less than 20 minutes should not cost $245.  Seriously, that’s the one bill I already received….she spoke to me for less than 20 minutes & worked in a quick pelvic exam while she was at it & for that she gets $245.  I’m not including the cost of any tests (mostly because she didn’t give me any) or lab work.

An side note to the hospital stay…I wish someone would have told me that I would feel like grim death after I left.  It doesn’t seem right that I felt even worse when I left than when I went in.  Saturday I did nothing but sleep with the odd trip to the bathroom thrown in.  It took every ounce of strength I possessed to walk the 15 feet from my side of the bed to the bathroom & back.  Sunday wasn’t much of an improvement… I slept through my nephews 4th birthday party.  I’m feeling more like myself now…still with the pain but I choose to ignore it the best I can.  What the future holds is anybody’s guess…right now I’m trying to get out & enjoy what’s left of my summer.

 
 
 
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