First we got the pleasure of rotavirus.   Nothing like a week for the nastiest, poopiest diapers to make me wish I could let Magnus run bare [...]]]> Magnus has been battling bug after bug this is month.  We have been out and about a lot since the July 4th weekend & he has paid the price.

First we got the pleasure of rotavirus.   Nothing like a week for the nastiest, poopiest diapers to make me wish I could let Magnus run bare through the yard all day & hose him off at night.  Just as the rotavirus disappeared we saw a runny nose start. This lasted a couple days; then appeared to go away.  Unfortunately it came back with a vengence… Runny nose, cough and general crankiness has ensued.  In the meantime a new tooth has appeared.

After a couple days where Magnus appeared to be getting better,  the goopy eye appeared.  I gave it a couple days but there was no improvement so today began with a trip to acute care.

Magnus is a trooper and was so good with all the stethoscopes & ear probes that he more than earned a special treat.  We decided that some alphabet blocks would be perfect.  Magnus loves anything that can be stacked (and then knocked over) plus we already like to practice singing our alphabet….  Well I sing,  Magnus just bobs along with the music.  Still there is no such thing as starting too early (provided there isn’t crazy pressure to be a wunderkind).

Anyway, we purchased the blocks & as I prepared to open them I took a closer look at the description on the packaging.  Imagine my surprise when I realized there are only 20 letters in the set.

That’s right folks, apparently nobody is smart enough to figure out how to squeeze in the last 6 letters of the alphabet.  That means after “T” your kids are plain out of luck when using this nifty little alphabet blocks set.  Seriously, I don’t see how there isn’t some sort of disclaimer on the package.  At the very least it should say: “Warning: Partial alphabet, not really good for learning.”  I can’t even use these blocks to spell my kid’s name!  Not only am I missing a letter from his first name but I can’t spell his middle name either because there’s a letter missing from that as well.  Good grief!

After opening the package I was confronted by the following…

Can you spot the problem with this partial alphabet?  It’s bad enough that they can’t manage to get all 26 letters of our alphabet into a single set (I wonder where the letters U-Z end up?  Isn’t this discrimination??  I’m writing my congresspersons…certainly this is racisim.  I mean how dare these toy people leave out U, V, W, X, Y & Z??  It’s ridiculous! Who is to say that the other letters are more important & worthy than the final 6 letter??  Hey we can even hold a rally & chant.  ”Free the Final 6” or “We want the Final 6”).  Apparently the person (or machine) that places all these blocks isn’t smart enough to know that “M” comes before “N” & that “Q” is facing the wrong way.  Certainly if all the blocks were random I wouldn’t deign to comment, but since every letter but two are in the proper order & direction (not to mention the sudden breaking of the color pattern) why not get them all the right way?  Seems silly to disrespect “Q” by removing it from it’s proper place & directional orientation.  Of course maybe the goal was to send a subliminal message to all children playing with this set of blocks… I mean if you look carefully at the bottom row it clearly states that “Mrs” is the goal of life.   Either to become one or to have one.  Certainly no toy manufacturer really thinks they can coerce our children into such traditional roles.  That’s ridiculous & frankly insulting… I mean, seriously, the gender typified role of being a married woman is archaic at best?!? (For those of you just joining in: I am a stay-at-home, married mother of two.)

Maybe this is all just so much tempest in a teapot?  Could it be that I’m jumping to wild conclusions based on nothing more than conjecture, crazy theories & a desire to find scandal where none exists??  Surely it isn’t that…

On a serious note though: I do wish that all the letters were included. It is a rather half-assed thing to present the alphabet missing any of the letters.  My son is just a year old, where else on his path to learning will I find gaping holes in the fundamentals that he should be learning?

First a warning: if you are not a parent, don’t wish to be a parent, or just generally don’t like children this post is NOT for you.  This post will contain graphic language & description of what can only be described as the single most disgusting moment of my life.

As you may [...]]]>

First a warning: if you are not a parent, don’t wish to be a parent, or just generally don’t like children this post is NOT for you.  This post will contain graphic language & description of what can only be described as the single most disgusting moment of my life.

As you may remember from previous posts, I am a farm girl. This means I have helped pull piglets (I was about 3 years old so I don’t have a very clear memory of it.) from the sow; watched cattle be dehorned & banded and seen dead, bloated animals scooped into the rendering truck. None of that compares with the mucus incident.

I was slightly propped up in bed, Magnus was snuggled close with his head on my chest. We were dozing in the quiet of the morning when Magnus started to cough a bit. Soon his cough escalated into a great heaving & gagging.

Suddenly I find myself covered in long, green ropes of mucus. Magnus has been congested and his little lungs decided they needed a purge. There aren’t words to describe the warm slimy feeling of all that junk oozing across my chest, down over the back of my shoulders & into my hair…As I ran for the shower (crying Magnus in tow) the muck continued to slither down toward the small of my back.

It took a long time under hot water, several applications of shampoo, and a lot of dancing around exclaiming “Ew, ew, ew,… Gross, gross, gross ” before I was able to declare myself slime free.

Even thinking about it now makes me feel slightly disgusted. Oh the joys of parenthood…

Off I went to my desktop pc and logged into my webhosting site where I contacted the live support person. They [...]]]>

Over the weekend I was informed by my sister-in-law that my blog had been hacked. Not the best gtalk message to receive as my pillow was getting fluffed just right on Saturday night.

Off I went to my desktop pc and logged into my webhosting site where I contacted the live support person. They immediately directed me to submit a help ticket request to the tech support center.

I submitted the help request, changed my password for the blog site and headed back to bed. Of course my brain was on overload at this point so I was rather wide awake. I went to check my blog from my phone (from whence I am composing this missive) only to find that it had been hijacked yet again. By now I was really pissed off.

Abe was awake and we were talking about what a hassle the whole thing was and how silly that I had gotten hacked. I started to think of all the websites out there on the interwebz my little blog got hacked. I mentioned how it was nearly worthy of a “REALLY?!?!?!?” segment a la Weekend Update. Abe laughed and told me I had my next blog post…so without further ado here it is.

The following text was basically what appeared on my blog. It was white text on a black background & there was a stylized skull and crossbones in the center of the page.

{#} Team [redacted Middle Eastern Country] hacker{#}
{#}The [redacted] hack{#}
This What We Do Hacking all The Time
Just open your eyes you fucked
Team [redacted Middle Eastern Country] hacker We Never Play
See ya

We had a nice time at Granite City Brewery [...]]]> My brother R turned 27 this week. To celebrate, his wife invited a bunch of his friends & siblings to go out to dinner followed by dancing. Abe & I were glad to go out for dinner & Magnus is always enjoys checking out somewhere new.

We had a nice time at Granite City Brewery & after eating the votes were in to go out to Club David for dancing. As we had Magnus along we needed to make quick arrangements for a babysitter (a huge deal for me since we’ve never left him with one). R’s little boy had a sitter & she agreed to watch Magnus too. We dropped him off; after a quick feeding, diaper change & clean jammies…. He was playing quite happily with a pair of pacifiers when we snuck out the door.

SWEET FREEDOM!

As we drove toward the club we discussed ditching my brother to go see a movie in the theater or heading home for some uninterrupted sleep. Although we were tempted our Jeep was soon parked near the club.  Walking along the sidewalk, Abe reached for my hand & laced his fingers through mine. It was the first time in 10 months there wasn’t a baby between us. We sauntered into the club, presented ID & met up with the rest of the party.

The music was pumpin’, videos playing on flat screens scattered throughout the room and lights flashing off the dark red walls. The décor was very nice. Beautiful dark red/maroon walls with clean white accents on the pillars & around the ceiling, random statues & framed photos of Michaelangelo’s David and strings of lights around the bar.

Other than our group of ten there were few people in Club David when we arrived. There were a couple of 60 something men sitting at the bar doing some serious drinking, a 50 something lady with crazy person hair (think electroshock) & bib overalls and a couple of girls in their mid to late 20s. A rather motley crew for a gay bar (or at least it used to be).

Drinks were ordered (a beer for Abe & a cranberry juice for me) and the few of us who like to dance hit the floor. R, my brother D & his wife Z and I were enjoying ourselves…in the groove and having a good time.  As R cut loose on the floor two girls started dancing closer & closer to him.  Pretty soon they were bumping & grinding on R…and his face showed more than a little dismay.  He slipped away as graciously as possible & made a beeline for his wife who was standing on the edge of the dance floor.  Meanwhile we kept dancing, chatting & having a good time.

Soon R was back on the floor with us & a Britney song was on… (sorry, bad pop culture reference).  Not only did the two girls quickly join us but they wasted no time in once again getting all up in R’s business.  This time one of them decided that a quick grope was in order.  R jumped about a foot in the air, screeched in horror & RAN off the dance floor.  I nearly collapsed I was laughing so hard.  After his groping R would no longer dance unless his back was securely against the wall.  Somehow the two girls  didn’t get the message that R is quite happily taken (how they missed the wild & disturbing (to me) public displays of affection between R & J I will never know).

Anyway, the crowd was starting to grow & the people watching entertainment grew exponentially.  A group of 3 men came in & grabbed a table in the back.  There was nothing to call attention to them at first…then we noticed that one member was “Hipster Gay Man”.  It wasn’t that he was gay but rather the tragically hip air & clothes that offended me.  Classic dark hipster glasses, shirt & tie and the clincher—skinny white linen “man-pris” (you’ve probably never heard of them).  No I’m not kidding…it was hilarious & sad all at the same time.

All in all it was an entertaining night out & one that we will hopefully repeat if we can find a babysitter.

Our time up north had [...]]]> Easter weekend found us traveling.  We spent a large portion of the weekend visiting family near Duluth.  It was SO good to see them & the time was far too short.  Still it was fun & Easter Sunday was a warm, sunny day.   Indeed a day to celebrate life.

Our time up north had to end so we said our goodbyes to the niece & nephews and headed for home.  We decided that it was early enough in the day that we could take the time to stop & visit Abe’s mom.  Originally we had not planned on a trip to the Cities but travel was going well & I’m not supposed to sit for too long (Dr’s orders).  Abe’s mom was pleasantly surprised when we stopped by.  Magnus was all dressed up in his Easter shirt & a bunny hat.  Being the charming little boy that he is Magnus crawled around & showed off all his best tricks.

As we were getting ready to leave my MIL mentioned that she had something for us.  Thinking that it was some small Easter trinket for Magnus I happily accepted the plastic sack.  Then came the explanation.

“Here’s the jar of alfredo sauce that we’ll never eat.  Mike bought it but I don’t like this brand so you can have it.  Also, here are the vanilla beans we bought in Mexico”  (side note:  I won’t even go into why I got beans rather than pure extract.)

I thanked MIL for the vanilla beans as I will find a use for them.  I was very pleased to have the beans…I’m experimenting with being an actual cook after all. So I’m thinking this is it when MIL pipes up again.

“Oh and there’s also a jar of mayonnaise…it’s a little out of date but I’m sure it will be fine. It hasn’t even been opened yet so just be sure to use it up quickly.”

I stood there, mouth agape for a minute while I searched for the words that would allow me to decline the mayonnaise. After opening & closing my mouth a couple times (without making any intelligible sounds), I weakly said “Ummm, thanks”.

Seriously how do you politely decline the unexpected gift of expired mayo? I could really have used Emily Post’s advice on the matter. Unfortunately she isn’t around to help me out.

Too bad I don’t have some slightly questionable Easter eggs that need to be used…I could make egg salad or deviled eggs. Anybody want to play salmonella roulette this weekend? Party is at my house.