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The Weekend That Wasn’t

22 Jun

So a couple weeks back I previewed some upcoming posts. I haven’t forgotten that promise…however life has had other plans for me. So rather than recap “Wheels & Squeals” like I had planned it will be a bit of this & that.

This past weekend was the local summer festival weekend. There were tons of activities along with plenty of vendors for the all important RibFest. Friday night the action kicked off with a Burnout contest followed by an ugliest/loudest car contest. Unfortunately I missed all of that as I had spent most of my day in the maternity/delivery area of the hospital being monitored for extremely high blood pressure. I was released & sent home to R E S T!

burn out remains

Burn Out Alley

Saturday was promising as a bright sunny day & we had plans to be out for a bit enjoying the weather and festivities. Of course I wanted to check out all the cars at the car show & late in the afternoon was the greased pig chase I was anxious to witness (hey, I wanted pictures to share with you all). As life would have it none of those plans were to be. After being awake for awhile it became apparent that I was headed back to the hospital.

I spent about 6 hours lying in the labor/delivery area of the hospital hooked up to the fetal monitor & sphygmomanometer (blood pressure cuff). I also had blood drawn & a urinalysis. After several readings it was apparent that my blood pressure was normal & Baby was doing great. I got a large IV bag of fluids to keep me from getting dehydrated (when they finally placed the IV…I got 2 blown veins in my right forearm & some nice bruising) & was subsequently released to head home.

Since it was dinner time we met up with my brother A & his wife A to head downtown to RibFest. We started with Willingham’s ribs. They use a dry rub & any sauce is served on the side. We tried the Cajun Hot Sauce which added a nice bite & heat to the ribs. We also sampled the Sweet N Sassy sauce which is great if you don’t want anything too spicy. Next we had the pulled pork & brisket from Rowdy Hog Smokin’ BBQ. The pulled pork was tender & savory while the brisket simply melted on the tongue. We sampled the Rowdy Hot sauce with the brisket. For me it really added to the flavor of the brisket while not overpowering the melty tenderness. Finally we had a single sample of the Dixie Dew Hellbound Hot from Skin & Bones BBQ. This was the one with the most kick to me but the heat didn’t overwhelm everything else.

Overall it was good to get out of the house even if I didn’t really do anything except sit on a picnic table bench & eat. I also braved the idea & tried bacon/chocolate kettle corn. Don’t give me that disgusted look…it was very, very tasty! I’m looking forward to next year when we can go & I’m not on bed rest.

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Posted in Miscellaneous, Out & About, The Life We Lead

Request Denied x4

02 Oct

I was going to post something I started last night but my day has just hit the wall & is splattered like a gruesome deer vs car accident. Because I’m too depressed to even function well today I’m going to rant about something for a bit & will make it up to all you fine readers by posting the other stuff later. I promise it’s good & fun.

So after being in the hospital in August I filled out a giant amount of paperwork to try to get approved for MinnesotaCare (the health insurance through the state…I’d pay a much smaller premium etc than what I’d pay if I had insurance through my job) so that my hospital stay would be covered.

Today I got not 1 but 4 rejection letters (total I have received more than 6) saying that I do not qualify to receive help from the program. I won’t even go into how horrible I feel getting 4 rejection letters….I didn’t get turned down by that many boys in all of my single life (of course I didn’t date any boys before my adorable husband but that’s a different matter).

What pisses me off to no end is that I don’t meet the income requirements for the program. I, in fact, make too much money. That’s right….me, a lowly receptionist who makes $9.50/hour at a 32 hour a week job & the sole breadwinner in the family right now, I make too much money. After the 401k deductions, the federal taxes, state taxes & social security I take home less than $1200 a month. Out of that amount I must pay rent, insurance, utilities & food. If I’m lucky I can also afford fuel for my Jeep. I was offered health insurance through my job…if I took that option by the time my portion of the premium was paid I would take home less than $100/month. I looked at getting health insurance on my own once upon a time when Abe was employed at a great job….I was denied that for reasons I won’t go into here.

While the whole country is bitching & moaning about everything from Roman Polanski to the Olympics to who knows what else and fighting each other rather than saying, “We have to do something to fix healthcare so let’s put aside who’s right & who’s left and do the job we were hired to do”….I’m staring at a pile of medical bills, the upcoming rent & the stack of rejection letters (including Abe’s job hunt rejections). Explain to me why a 15 minute consultation (without the actual exam) with a gynecologist costs $245! All she did was sit on my bed & tell me there was nothing wrong with me. I’m sorry but that’s damn ridiculous!!!!

Insurance companies take tons of blame for the cost of healthcare….and I’m not saying that they are without culpability here. I do think that if hospitals weren’t “for-profit” businesses things would certainly be better. When healthcare facilities became focused on turning a profit, pleasing shareholders & stopped focusing on treating the illnesses (not the symptoms) of the population of this country that’s when it all went in the toilet. I’m fed up & angry…..I don’t have the solution but someone out there must. I’d like to know what it is. Oh & if you are thinking about coming here & telling me I should get a higher paying job, have Hubby get a job dealing meth & “do whatever it takes” to afford health care then I’m telling you right now where you can put that comment. I work hard & Hubby works harder trying to make money….too bad with our current system no amount will ever be enough.

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Posted in Patently Ridiculous, What's in my Head

The One Where I Go to the Hospital–Final Chapter?

23 Aug

When last we were together our heroine was cruising along on a cocktail of pain meds & sedation drugs. Snowmen were being annihilated by her ever efficient flicks (‘cuz let’s face it snowmen are creepy…with their hollow black eyes & that inane empty smile).

Meanwhile the doctors were still stumped as to what was causing all the pain. After a battery of tests (all of which came back normal–see it’s a medically proven fact that I’m normal) and no answers I was more than a little upset. Not to mention that nobody bothered to tell me what the test results were. One of my nurses was super great (all of them were so nice to me) and filled me in on the parts she knew so I had the barebones idea that nothing big was showing up in the test results. Since there didn’t seem to be any answers the doctors (I had 2 surgeons, an internist, a gastroenterologist, an ob/gyn & her med student and a general physician) came by my room every day to see how I was feeling. This mostly consisted of asking how I was feeling (horrible & in pain) & then probing & pushing down on my right side asking if it hurt (Of course if bloody well hurts…holy grief that’s why I came into the ER in the first place. The dull aching pain from my rib cage to my hip coupled with the sharp stabbing pains in the area of the rib cage).

What did they think I was going to change my mind? Did it look like I was having fun?? Okay, I’ll admit that for the first 15-30 minutes after getting a brand new dose of Dilaudid I was pretty happy. Seriously with that stuff you could do whatever you wanted to me & I wouldn’t have objected….well I might have objected but probably not very hard. In any case Thursday was a day of waiting. I was waiting for the second surgeon to look over my charts & then visit me. It never happened. I spent the day drifting in and out of consciousness….I was so tired! Abe sat with me and when I was awake we talked, watched some telly & played on the interwebz. I was feeling pretty dejected by the time Abe left on Thursday night. We talked it over & agreed that if something wasn’t decided by Friday that I was checking out & going home.

Friday dawned with me in a stupor. A week of fitful sleep & much poking by nurses, aides & doctors left much to be desired. We waited all day for the second surgeon to come visit. In fact we waited most of the day for the general physician to visit. By the time they both showed up I was in probably the worst pain I’d had all week. Still they both examined me (by that I mean asked how I felt & then poked me where it hurt) & then decided that since there was no solid conclusion to why I was in pain etc that they would send me home with some prescriptions. So on Friday evening the nurse gave me an extra dose of pain meds, removed the IV & wheeled me down to the entrance. I had just spent 5 days in the hospital (without insurance) and the only thing I had to show for it was a hospital bill that I’m terrified of getting in the mail.

Thus ends the tale of my week in hospital. Putting the events to screen here makes me even more aware of how irritated I am that I have no answers. While the doctors did acknowledge that maybe my gallbladder isn’t functioning as well as it should they still don’t believe it’s causing the problems I’ve described. So I’m doing the best I can with what I know. I’m careful to eat very little & very specific kinds of food…like I can have lean meat (which I try to stick to anyway) or a chicken breast, I can eat Cheerios. I do know that if I cut out all the fat in my diet that I’m just as likely to have a gallbladder attack as I would if I ate a pound of bacon. The research I’ve been doing says that even with surgery I only have a 60% chance of feeling better. HA! No thanks, I think I’ll try something else first. I don’t mind changing my diet more…it’s something I need to do anyway. What I do mind is the idea of never enjoying food again…so I’m being more careful but allowing for little indulgences. I’m searching out alternative medicine such as acupuncture & acupressure along with stuff I may not have discovered yet. Modern medicine seems to be more about treating the symptoms (my pain) than eliminating the cause of it. Not to mention the cost of modern medicine. I’m not saying that doctors shouldn’t be paid well. I am saying that it’s beyond outrageous that a consultation with an ob/gyn that lasts less than 20 minutes should not cost $245. Seriously, that’s the one bill I already received….she spoke to me for less than 20 minutes & worked in a quick pelvic exam while she was at it & for that she gets $245. I’m not including the cost of any tests (mostly because she didn’t give me any) or lab work.

An side note to the hospital stay…I wish someone would have told me that I would feel like grim death after I left. It doesn’t seem right that I felt even worse when I left than when I went in. Saturday I did nothing but sleep with the odd trip to the bathroom thrown in. It took every ounce of strength I possessed to walk the 15 feet from my side of the bed to the bathroom & back. Sunday wasn’t much of an improvement… I slept through my nephews 4th birthday party. I’m feeling more like myself now…still with the pain but I choose to ignore it the best I can. What the future holds is anybody’s guess…right now I’m trying to get out & enjoy what’s left of my summer.

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Posted in Oh WOW!, Out & About, Patently Ridiculous, What's in my Head

The One Where I Go to the Hospital III

22 Aug

On the last episode of “When Gallbladders Attack” I was just getting back to my room from the hida scan. We shall pick up when I arrived back in my room.

Once back in my room I was given more water (so delicious & soothing when your mouth feels like you’ve licked pavement) and promised ginger ale. I was without my IV at the time since the one that I’d had put in on Monday was very painful & my hand and arm had gotten quite swollen. After a few minutes a member of the IV team came in to start a new IV for me. She did a great job & got it in on the first jab.

I don’t really remember much else except that I got a visit from my brother-in-law Pete & his family. As always it was great to see them & so kind that they came to check on me. I got a lovely bouquet of roses from them which brightened up the institutional feeling of the place.

my bouquet of roses while I was in hospital

After my visitors left (I so enjoyed seeing them but having that many people in the room was a lot of work. It’s hard to keep to small boys (one age 4 and the other age 10 months) entertained at the best of times…it’s even more difficult in a hospital.) I think I slept a little. My memory starts to get a little fuzzy about details from this point on. I do know that Abe leaving was just as difficult for me (as it was every night that week). I also know that I spent time on Twitter keeping those wonderful friends updated on how I was doing.

I have to point out that I am so thankful & appreciative of all those who did their best to cheer me up & keep tabs on me thru Twitter. What a blessing in a time where I felt terribly isolated. Not knowing what was/is wrong (although I’m sure it’s my gallbladder I haven’t been “officially” diagnosed) and lying in that room alone was terrifying. There really aren’t words to let all those people (some who I met for the first time while in hospital) know how much that meant to me. Thank you again to everybody on Twitter who chatted with me. You were good medicine for my soul. Some of them went above & beyond…they know who they are & how I feel about them.

Wednesday I was off food & liquids again for some more fun tests. I got the fun of a pelvic ultrasound (I’m not going into details on this one…if you know what I’m talking about then I’m sorry ‘cuz they are more awkward than a traditional gyn exam. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then count yourself lucky.) plus a second gyn exam & and EGD. The EGD is worth telling about…I was quite amusing from what I’ve gathered from other sources.

For the EGD (it’s a scope stuck down your throat into your stomach) I was taken down to the surgery section of 4West. The got me settled on the table in the room & got me hooked to the blood pressure monitor and heart monitor. I also got a toasty warm blanket tucked around me as I was freezing (I was cold all the time while I was there). By this time I had such a cocktail of meds that I drifted in & out of sleep at random. I think I have a pretty good idea what being narcoleptic must be like. Anyway, I fell asleep on the table & the nurses had to wake me up to get me prepped. I was not an easy patient although it wasn’t on purpose. I simply could not stay awake. Finally the did get me rolled onto my right side, the oxygen in my nose (which I wouldn’t stop touching ‘cuz it felt so weird so they finally pinned my arms down with the blanket) & the mouth guard (so I wouldn’t accidently bite the scope) in. I very vaguely remember some lady telling me they were going to sedate me. The next thing I remember is asking if we were done. I asked this question at least 10 times…I’d fall asleep again & couldn’t remember what was going on. Then as I was headed back to my room someone decided to take me to 6West. Fortunately one of my nurses saw me before I could get carted up to floors…I would have really freaked out had I woken up there. I made it back to my room with a team of 4 people. These were the lucky ones that got to help transfer me from the bed I was in to the bed in my room. The two beds were put as close together as possible with a plastic body board slanted between them. I then got the option to slide down myself or have them help. Feeling adventurous I quite giddily decided to slide….much to the amusement of all present. Apparently I felt the need to “Wheeeee!” as I slid down into my bed. I also managed to get quite tangled in my length of IV hose.

Not long after that little bit of comedy my brother-in-law Pete popped in to check on me. He was working & had a transfer from Cloquet to Duluth (he’s a firefighter & paramedic) so he took a couple minutes to see me. I don’t remember much of that except for him hugging me good-bye…I patted his face several times with both hands….ah well what can I say I was pretty drugged up. Abe has also informed me (I have NO recollection of the following events) that I hollered at Abe for not using the television remote properly & demanding that it be handed to me. I also got quite animated & very angry about all the snowmen that were populating the room. {Abe says I was creeped out by snowmen in August.} In the imperious manner that only I can have when impaired by drugs (or alcohol) I announced that the snowmen were bothering me & that flicking them was the only way to make them disappear. I then proceeded to demonstrate & apparently had some success in disbanding the little creatures as I did calm down. (Every time I mention the snowmen Abe’s gets a very funny look on his face & he laughs.)

I have so much more to tell but it’ll keep a bit longer…I’ll fill you all in on the rest of my stay & what I think of the whole crazy business in another post. (That is of course if you still want to read it…I promise to write about something else very soon.)

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Posted in Oh WOW!, Out & About, Patently Ridiculous, The Life We Lead

The One Where I Go to the Hospital II

22 Aug

So a few posts back I gave a recounting of my visit to ER & admission to the hospital. It went smoothly (no big scary horror stories about not getting treatment or aid) and I was soon ensconsed in my own ER room, carefully tucked in with a wonderful IV & pain meds. I dozed a lot lying there…I hadn’t slept very well in the preceeding days plus the combo of drugs made me sleepy. Abe sat in the room with me — for 7 long hours… I’m sure he was bored out of his mind (I know he was worried too) though I kept asking him how he was, if he needed anything. I also remember apologizing A LOT for being sick & asking to go to the hospital (not to mention the fretting I did over not taking the time to shave my legs before we left home).

So after several exams, lots of waiting & no answers I was admitted to the hospital. They wheeled me up to 4West and into room 403. There I answered about 5,000 questions (well I tried…I was after all on a pharmacy worth of meds) about my health history. I remember asking the nurse (who was VERY patient) to repeat some of the questions several times. Fortunately Abe was able to help out with the answers. I also managed to get a different gown…I went from one that was too small to one what could have been used as a circus tent for the Lollipop Kids.

Once settled in I finally got some water which I’d been asking for all day but was allowed because of the tests. Abe & I just hung out for a while but eventually it was getting to be late & he still had to drive home. I never like saying good-bye to Abe. Lying there in that hospital bed, saying good-bye & watching Abe walk out the door was one of my least favorite moments. Part of me wanted nothing more than to pitch a hysterical crying fit & make him stay with me. Knowing that would be far too selfish I waited to do most of my crying until after I was sure he was gone. (Besides there was no way Abe could sleep in the one chair all night & the bed was too small for both of us. Plus the dogs needed to be fed, watered & let out for a run.)

I passed a less than restful night Monday night. Tuesday morning started with a visit from someone taking more vials of blood for testing & another individual checking my vitals. I drifted back to semi-sleep for a while. As I was having a hida scan on Tuesday sometime I was not allowed to eat. (I’ll explain a hida scan in a bit) Now I knew I was having a hida scan & that there’s no food beforehand….but that didn’t stop at least 3 people from trying to give me a breakfast tray. I told the first person I was not allowed food because of the test. They said ok & left. A few minutes later a second person tapped on the door & asked if I wanted breakfast. I declined in a somewhat grouchy manner although I did my best to be polite. When the third person came barging in with the breakfast tray I refused it in a less polite & intensely more grouchy manner. The third person argued with me, demanding that I should eat. I brusquely explained that I was not allowed to eat because I was scheduled for a hida scan. Person #3 (most likely thinking I was crazed with medication) huffed out of the room & returned with my nurse who (fortunately for me) backed me up on the no food allowed. The tray was then quickly removed & I was left in peace. Abe arrived shortly thereafter & I was very happy not to be alone with the crazed breakfast gang.

After a while I was wheeled down to nuclear medicine for my hida scan. The hida scan is a terribly uncomfortable test. First you are strapped to a narrow metal table. I do mean strapped as there must be no movement for the duration (about an hour) of the test. Then you are injected with a radioactive dye. After that you lie still in a very uncomfortable & artificial position while a giant machine is moved over you & takes pictures of your gallbladder. The dye slowly fills up the gallbladder & then spills into the small intestine…once that happens a second drug is administered which makes the gallbladder contract. This is where it gets incredibly painful (at least for me). For the next 6-15 minutes (depending on the person giving the test) you feel as if your insides are being squeezed through a bendy, swirly straw. Did I mention that you’ll want to curl up in the fetal position, curse the doctor & then die…’cuz that is exactly what you can’t do–because you are strapped down.

When I was finally unstrapped & allowed to sit up I barely managed to slide down off the table. {oh yeah, me = 5′ 2″…I needed a step stool to climb onto it. The geriatric man who administered the test neglected to aid me in getting down. This is the same man when told that I needed an new IV (the first one infiltrated) and that it’s quite hard to find a vein proceeded to stick me on the inside of my left elbow & dig around ’til he hit a vein…it took until just this past week for the bruise from that to disappear.} Needless to say I was happy when I managed to get back in the wheel chair & he left me sitting in the hallway for someone to find.

That was just the morning of my second day in the hospital…I’ll tell you about the rest of my adventures in another entry.

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Posted in Oh WOW!, Out & About, Patently Ridiculous, The Life We Lead

The One Where I Go to the Hospital I

07 Aug

As my faithful readers know I have been battling some pretty intense pain & trouble with my gallbladder. On Monday (August 3rd) I woke up after having a very tough weekend and decided it was time to make a trip to the ER. So I called in to work & then Abe loaded me into the truck to drive me to St. Luke’s in Duluth.

Upon arriving at St. Luke’s we made our way to the UrgentCare/ER portion of the hospital. After filling out some paperwork & having my vitals checked I was given a cursory exam where it was determined that the emergency room was more suitable for my complaint. I was given a gown (way too small to tie), told to strip & climb into bed.

One of the on-call doctors came in, asked me a bunch of questions & probed my very tender, sore right side. I posited the idea that my gallbladder was the culprit (which I in fact believe it is). The doctor then placed orders for a pelvic exam, a CT scan & an abdominal ultrasound. I spent the next several hours lying in a hospital bed waiting for each new test & occasionally begging for pain medication.

I must say that the pain medication was given generously & I have no complaints that the staff did it’s very best to make me comfortable. Accompanying the pain meds (Dilaudid) was an anti-nausea medication which was awesome because few things are worse than that nagging feeling you may just vomit in your mouth.

I should point out that I was put on IV saline almost immediately. I hate needles, blood etc. as I am quite squeamish. The nurse that placed the needle did a great job in spite of the fact I have extremely tiny veins (made smaller by the fact that I was cold, anxious, in pain & slightly dehydrated). She placed the IV port on the first try & it was a relief to have it done with.

Now the doctor decided to do a pelvic exam as I was complaining of pain from my rib cage to my lower abdomen near the navel. Now nobody truly enjoys a pelvic exam…they are awkward & if the person giving the exam is rushed they can be downright uncomfortable. I don’t mind them too much as I know it’s a necessary part of being a healthy woman so I just let my mind drift off to something more pleasant (a vacation, a new book, a favorite song) & soon it’s over in no time at all.

I would like to mention that in setting up for the pelvic exam a nursing assistant was trying to find all the necessary tools so that when the doctor came in he could just go right to the exam without wasting time. Everything was in the cart except for one small item–the flashlight. Well the nurse who placed the IV needle (such an angel she was) seemed to know where it was & off she went to find it. Being the ER she got sidetracked helping someone else (totally understandable) and so another lady came in to finish setting up the exam tray. Upon finding that the flashlight was MIA this person proceeded to open and close ever drawer in the cart….and then she repeated opening, closing, opening, closing, opening, closing….well you get the idea. Then she muttered to herself & wandered out. Within five minutes she was back—opening, closing, opening, closing, opening, closing…the same 4 drawers over & over. She wasn’t quiet about it either. Now keep in mind that I’m lying in a bed, curled up in a ball becasue of the intense pain in my right side. When she had started the first round of drawer banging my lovely husband told her that another nurse had looked in all the drawers, discovered the flashlight wasn’t present & had gone to look for it elsewhere. The drawerbanger had acknowledged this statement & then proceeded to completely ignore it. The more the drawers (full of metal equipment like speculums) rattled the more irritated I got. My head started to pound & my stomach started to heave. I asked her to be more quiet, Abe asked her to be more quiet…I finally demanded she be quiet…all to no avail. I began to wonder aloud if maybe she thought if she opened & closed the drawers in the right order at a fast enough pace that a flashlight would magically appear. Once I started to mutter about magic tricks sotto voce she got the hint & went elsewhere…I can only hope she didn’t decide to torture another patient with her magically disappearing medical instruments.

Well you can see that this is part one of my hospital adventures series. There is much, much more to come as I’ve not even made it through the first day. Please stay tuned for more– same bat time, same bat channel….until then be well & may you find Dilaudid in your cup when you need it most.

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Posted in Out & About, Patently Ridiculous, The Life We Lead, What's in my Head

A Broken System

05 Mar

The events in this post took place between December 2007 & January 2008. I’ve written a little update at the end.

December 26th I went to the local clinic complaining of extreme abdominal pain. I was ushered into a doctor’s office where the nurse checked my vitals & I waited for the doctor. The doctor came in & talked to me before doing an exam. He determined that I did not have appendicitis but more probably a problematic gallbladder. I was given an injection for pain & another for nausea. Then the doctor scheduled me for a limited abdominal ultrasound for the 27th.

On the 27th I had my ultrasound & was sent home. The doctor called later that day to say no gallstones had shown up on the ultrasound. I was prescribed hydrocodone for the pain (Vicodone @ 500mg/pill up to 6000mg/day). I was also prescribed hydroxyzine for nausea. The hydroxyzine also has the nifty little side effect of amplifying the effects of the hydrocodone.

The next step was to schedule a nuclear imaging test for Jan 4th. I had to lie on a table for an hour without moving anything so that the tech could photograph my abdoman several hundred times. I also got a fun injection that made my gallbladder contract. This causes intense pain. Think snake bite like when you were in grade school…only to your insides and you have to lie still and not curl into a ball.

On the 9th the doctor called to say that the nuclear imaging test was fine. Still no evidence of anything amiss with my gallbladder. However, I insisted on seeing the doctor on the 10th since the pain hadn’t decreased & I’m really starting to enjoy the pain medication. After talking with the doctor he determined that a CT scan on the 16th was in order. I got 2 big bottles of barium sulfate suspension to drink the morning of the test (think orange juice poured into a glass of milk…now drink & enjoy!).

The 16th I had the CT scan. Pretty painless although the IV wasn’t fun. The tech there told me to expect to wait a week before getting the results. Imagine my surprise & even distress when the doctor called promptly the morning of the 17th. The news….still nothing apparently wrong with me. Still experiencing the same severe abdominal pain so now I get a reference to a surgeon.

January 23rd I make the trip to the hospital to speak with the surgeon. His recommendation….endoscopy followed by a colonoscopy depending on what the endoscopy shows.

Well the story ends there. I was denied the chance at an endoscopy ‘cuz I don’t have health insurance. This whole time every test, every drop of blood, every pee cup has had to be approved by the business office. Now they tell me that unless I can come up with $650 plus by the 30th (the best date for the endoscopy) I’m out of luck. I’m not sick enough for them to make an exception.

I’m too poor to afford health insurance. Even the insurance provided by my job requires so much contribution on my part I wouldn’t have any take home pay. However, I’m too “rich” to qualify for medical assistance. Of course should the worst happen & I die before my current bills are paid the hospital will be glad to harrass my husband with collections attempts while he’s busy mourning the death of his wife.

So here I sit on a Thursday night unsure of what I should do next. The most likely course of action is to continue on the medication until I’m sick enough to get treatment in an ER. Of course that’s what happened to my maternal grandfather when I was in Jr. High. He nearly died until the doctors finally removed his gallbaldder.

Healthcare….neither providing health nor care to millions in the US.

I wrote this note on my Facebook account over a year ago. Since I wrote this I’ve learned to live with more pain than I thought possible. I stopped taking the pain meds & anti-anxiety drugs so that I could lead a clear-headed life. I was missing out on too much to keep taking enough medication to keep the pain at bay & would at this point be very addicted to them. None of this post is intended to support the idea of socialized healthcare. Rather it’s a look at the utter dispair I was feeling (and still do) when thinking about how sick I must become before a doctor will treat me. What I’d really like to see happen is that healthcare professional would take charge of the “care” and provide for people based on need not wealth. There was a time in this country when the ability to pay wasn’t what determined your treatment but rather the need. Doctors cared for patients in their homes & took chickens, cows or what the patient could afford in lieu of payment. Why is it that a trip to see a doctor for less than 15 minutes with no vitals taken, no blood tests etc costs at least $90? A simple office visit to find out you have eczema & not necrotizing faciitis is ridiculously high. I want someone to fix what we have not get rid this system for a worse one.

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