Something Creative

The other day I got a friend request on facebook…now this rarely happens as I’m pretty much friends with people I know already.  Of course the bulk of those are my family–Mom, siblings, inlaws & a few aunts and cousins thrown in for good measure.  I also connect with some friends from college which is nice as we are pretty far flung in our lives.  (Those of you who don’t fall into either category are dear friends & therefore I am more than happy to connect with you anytime, anywhere.) So why the big deal about getting a friend request?  Well it comes from an old high school classmate & I have worked very hard to leave high school (and EVERYTHING about it) behind.

I grew up in a small midwestern town of about 300 people.  My grandparents lived there, my parents grew up there and many of my aunts & uncles lived very close.  There are many things that I love about having that “classic” childhood. (I knew my grandparents well which was a blessing just as one example.)  However, I did not enjoy school in such a small community.  In fact we were such a small district that we ended up joining with 2 other districts & combined schools.  Kindergarten-5th grade in one town, 6-8 grades in town #2 & 9-12 grades in town #3.  Sounds not unpleasant right?  WRONG!!

See people joke about southern towns being inbred…ha I say–we’ve got our own set of “inbreeders” here in Minnesota (and I’d be willing to be the same is true of small towns all over the country).  Many of the kids in my class had parents who went to school with mine.  I had teachers who taught my parents.  There are kids in class with my 6 year old nephew whose parents were in my class.

So back to this friend request…sure we were “friends” in high school.  As in I talked to this person (hard to avoid anybody with only 55 classmates) and we were mostly friendly.  The thing is I didn’t really fit in with any of them.  Sure we had our misfits but even they fell into “categories” of your typical high school outsider.

Not me…I was my own person — and for the most part I was ok with that (yes there were times where I desperately wanted to be part of the “in” crowd.  I often felt left out when the class went to different parties etc. but I just didn’t feel the need to participate in the drinking and other stuff to be invited along.)

Part of the reason I was not “popular” was my firmly entrenched role as teacher’s pet.  I was ensconced in that role long before high school.  It wasn’t a role of my choosing–I’ll lay that on the door of my 7th English teacher.  Actually “teacher’s pet” may be understating that a bit but that’s a whole different “Dr. Phil”.  I was & still am an English geek. I love books, words, sentence construction and everything else about it.  All I ever wanted to be was an English teacher (of course my loathing for stupidity precluded my ability to teach in public school) & I focused all my study in that area through college. (There were many other reasons I didn’t fit in.  They really aren’t worth exploring because I’ve moved on from that period in my life…)

Another reason I don’t want to friend this person is because there is a slight chance it will lead to more requests from even more former classmates.  While I could MAYBE (and that’s a huge maybe) deal with one former high school classmate I could not deal with more than that.  I would have to share my life with these people & I’ve worked hard to leave them behind.

We have a reunion coming up this summer…it’s a small “milestone” one I suppose.  I do NOT want to even receive the invitation to that event.  I can already tell you when, where & who will most likely attend.  I can even tell you with a fair degree of accuracy what the reunion events will entail.  Why am I so positive about this you ask?  Easy, because the class reunions in my home town have been the same since I was still IN high school.

Every summer the town where the high school is located has their summer “festival”.  You know the one–where they celebrate the hot dog or polish sausage or cardboard invention.  There’s food vendors & possibly a small carnival area with rides, a parade with the local marching band & some sort of beauty queen or 12.  Then afterwards there’s a big street dance complete with roped off beer garden (which the underage kids sneak into after everybody is well into their own cups…that is when the bother to be sneaky any more).

Now I know that my classmates will find someone with a decent looking truck or tractor & a hay rack.  They’ll make a big sign proclaiming our graduating year & staple it to the back of the hay rack.  Then everybody will pile on (partly or completely drunk) and proceed to drink their way through the parade shouting stuff at the citizens (many of whom will also be drunk) as the “float” makes it’s way slowly through town.

**Please someone give me a spork so I can gouge my eyes out now…reliving that scene in my head alone has necessitated that I think about therapy.**

I witnessed this scene many times growing up (thankfully my parents did not participate in what often ended up being embarrassing for several people) and have no desire to participate in such a glorious tradition. (ooh….did you miss the sarcasm ‘cuz I can repeat it if you like….)

Nostalgia is great…I have many fond memories that I cherish.  I have more than a few memories I’d like to erase.  Being stuck in the past though is not something I want for myself.  There are many things in life to look forward to…and more importantly there’s living every day in the present.  It’s not always easy for me–I borrow trouble way too frequently & in wildly large doses–in spite of all that I am getting better.  I think that “friend request” will end up being ignored…it’s better that way.