It’s that time again folks…yup, I’ve got a rant & it’s a doozy. This rant has nothing to do specifically with bras so you can relax. I’m not going to discuss my cleavage today. However, I am going to talk about women, their bodies & what the hell is wrong with people!
Mom called me the other night to relate the following story. She & my younger sister B went to visit my 92 year old grandmother. Grandma J does pretty well by herself although she is more forgetful than she used to be. Grandma still does a little (very little) driving, washes her clothes (at 5 am every Saturday, don’t try to use the machines then…she’ll cut you), and all the various other chores that a woman who lived her life working hard finds to keep herself busy.
(Yes those are stacks of bodice ripper paperbacks in the back closet. No you may not read them as she will be passing them along to the next old lady in her reading circle.) Anyway, Mom & B were visiting Grandma J and they were visiting in the living room. Grandma started to complain about how she feels, her health (remarkably excellent for 92), and her appearance.
Grandma’s specific complaint…Her stomach isn’t flat enough. Yes that’s right ladies…all that insecurity you feel over the flatness of your tummy is being felt by a woman in her 90s. She has lived through WWII, the Great Depression, the 60s, the death of family & friends, financial difficulties, raising kids, working on a farm (I could go on for ages with this) & yet her worry is whether or not her stomach is flat.
Of course I understand the desire to look good…and who doesn’t want one of those impossibly flat stomachs with nary a ripple or spot of unsightly flab. Still it disgusts me that we women are so conditioned by our culture that an elderly woman is trying to find the perfect exercise to achieve this impossible dream. Seriously! We live in a society where women who do not fit a specific ideal are treated like lower class citizens. As a height challenged, non-stick person I’ve learned that I can expect less from the general world than my tall, semi-stick acquaintances. It’s something I struggle with a lot–and yes I should put down this delicious croissant & cup of coffee with cream– but I’m too busy indulging in the sensory delights of fluffy, buttery delight chased with the dark creamy flavor of South American caffiene.
One thing this “ideal” doesn’t even come close to considering is basic genetics. It is impossible for all of us to be a perfect 5’8″, 110 lb stick person. As far as I’m concerned it’s good we aren’t all this “ideal”…(that’s not to say that sometimes I don’t curse my looks) I mean the world would be an awfully dull place if there wasn’t some variety. Can you imagine what it would be like if we only had one kind of tree? Just imagine if the only tree were a 30′ white pine. Or what if there was only 1 flower…only pansies (I love panises by the way. They hold a very special place in my heart & on my body). Creation would indeed be a very dull, dreary place if we determined to make everything fit some “ideal” that was randomly decided upon & then sold to the world at large as the way it should be.
I know so many women who are beautiful in their own unique ways. It really has very little to do with their physical appearance or at least JUST their physical appearance. There is much to be said for character, brains & a wacky sense of humor. I’ve known many women who had the physical ideal down solid…looking at them is breathtaking. It’s almost hard to belive they are real people…and after talking to them for 5 seconds I feel my own IQ plummeting like the stock market on Black Monday.
Back to Grandma J for a bit though…This is a woman who has trouble bending over & can’t touch her toes (it’s ok, she’s elderly & we don’t want her putting a hip out). However, in a bid to attain that flat tummy she will lie down on her living room floor & work on crunches. I’m 60 years younger than she is & I won’t do that. (Yep I don’t have a flat stomach.) It seems ridiculous to me that by the time I reach my 90s there is a distinct possibility that I will feel the need to follow this behaviour.
Kudos to Grandma J for attempting it though, she’s a better woman than I am. Of course she puts up with a lot more than I ever would. She had a colonoscopy not that many years ago ‘cuz they wanted to be sure they caught an cancer “early”. Really?!?!?!?! At 80+ years old she had a colonoscopy. At 91 she had a mammogram (see my post on that here). I’m sure by the time she reaches 95 (if we are lucky enough to have Grandma J around that long) she’ll need a complete face lift, a tummy tuck (‘cuz the crunches aren’t working) & some laser eye surgery.
So tell me what you think….let’s see some comments on this. (I’m going to be avoiding the mirror as I don’t want to think about crunches & I can’t seem find a single thing about me that isn’t in need of a major overhaul. If I don’t look in the mirror I can lie to myself that I’m a cute girl with some kickin’ curves & some awesome cleavage…Now where did that 1 bra that fit me go???)