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What Are You Thinking About?

20 Aug

The other night Magnus was sleeping early so Abe & I were snuggling; enjoying the quiet time together. After a few minutes of silence I asked what he was thinking about. “Nothing much, just you”, he replied. I laughed; it figures that is the answer I would get. Abe isn’t big on sharing what goes on inside his head. Many times I feel like some sort of mind-reading machine trying to figure out what’s up with him.

After a few more minutes Abe asked what I was thinking about. “I’m a girl; there are hundreds of thoughts floating around in my brain. In fact, I really wish I could just shut it off for awhile”, I turned to look at him, “You really don’t want to hear all the stuff that’s floating around up there”. We bantered back and forth for a bit about it. Abe kept insisting he wanted to know what I was thinking; I kept telling him that letting that loose would ruin our quiet mood. Finally to end the discussion I started listing things that were popping up as thoughts. (I have heard the brain described as an intricate filing system. Men can have 2 maybe 3 drawers open at a time; any more & their filing cabinet tips over making a mess. Women can have dozens of drawers open at one time & quickly flip between them. Not only that but women can leave drawers partially open while men shut each drawer firmly.) Here in no particular order are some of the thoughts that I expressed last night….

I’m wondering about moving again, how we will manage the actual move, the logistics of packing with an additional person in the family, how we will manage to clear snow this winter since we don’t have a snow blower & it’s a much larger area than Abe can realistically shovel, how I’m going to furnish/decorate the new house, how Magnus will like the new house, how the dogs will like the new house, that I need the psychologist to call me back so I can make an appointment to discuss taking different meds for my depression, my depression doesn’t seem to be helped by my current meds so what difference does it make if I take them, I need to do my laundry, what to make for my family reunion on Saturday, will the weather be decent on Saturday, how will Magnus deal with traveling that far, will Magnus be in a good frame of mind, what should I wear to the reunion, I hate my hair–I wish it looked nicer, I feel defectivebrokendented, will I ever feel like “myself” again, I need to start back on my WiiFit, I don’t have the motivation to start back on the WiiFit, I need a job, I need to be able to stay home & take care of Magnus, I wish I could get paid to write, how can I get paid to write when I can’t even manage to update my blog on a semi-regular basis….

You get the idea anyway. As I was listing off things that I was thinking about more & more popped into my head. It was a bit like that scene in “Ghostbusters” where the poltergeist makes all the cards fly out of the card catalogue. I told Abe that I felt like my brain was full of posty notes randomly stuck all without any discernible pattern. He laughed as I went on a spiel about how with all those posty notes stuck everywhere it was no wonder my brain wasn’t working right & that I was forgetting things…new posties keep getting stuck on top of old ones.

That’s some of what I’m thinking about…what are YOU thinking about?

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Posted in I should be in therapy, Patently Ridiculous, What's in my Head

Six (ish) Weeks Later

09 Aug

It has been just over six weeks since Magnus was born. He was just a little peanut when he came home…and while he has grown he is still a little peanut. We are blessed that he is healthy & so aware. He loves to be held where he can look around. There are times where my arms are exhausted but I love that Magnus is a snuggly baby. He loves to snuggle with both of us. Magnus is our sweetie baby…he has the sweetest smile & is a bit of a flirty boy already.

I had my six week post partum check-up today. My doctor says I’m in good shape for going back to being active. I’m excited to be able to start doing yoga again. In fact I’m going to have my good friend Mary over at Fit This! Girl put together a work out regimen for me. Since I’ve already lost 50 pounds I think I’m well set to get more fit so I can keep up with Magnus as he gets more active. This summer has been hard for me to be so inactive. The sweltering weather has made me feel a bit better about being housebound. It has been far to hot & humid to be outside during the afternoon (morning too for the most part). I do miss the hiking & other activities we used to do up at the North Shore. Hopefully we will be able to make a trip up there to visit this fall.

Other than that I’m trying to put a positive face on when facing the “public”. Reality is that I’m not coping all that well emotionally. As much as I have always wanted a baby & as much as I’m completely head over heels in love with Magnus I wonder if maybe I was meant to be a mom. Many times I feel that Magnus would be better off with a different mommy…that someone else would do a better job than I. In light of that I’ve talked with my doctor & we have increased my meds twice. Now I’m under orders to see a psych to discuss what my options are for changing meds. I’m not wild about this idea at all. I’d much prefer my chosen method of ignoring it as much as possible. If I won’t even talk about it with Abe I certainly don’t want to discuss it with a complete stranger. However, I know that the better I feel the better I will be at being a mommy for Magnus.

5 Comments

Posted in Baby Stuff, I should be in therapy, What's in my Head

Mommy Mind

09 Aug

Right now Magnus is sleeping in his swing, the dogs are sleeping around the house & my mind is a mess. I’m beyond tired, I need a shower, I’m nearly out of clean clothes to wear, my house is a disaster again & Abe is gone until Tuesday night. At least Magnus seems to be getting over his cold (though he’s still congested).

Now before you tell me that this is what being a mommy is all about let me halt you. I am very aware of it…and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Okay, I’d change the lack of sleep…but everything else Magnus related I can handle. I’ve found wells of patience that nobody in the world would have imagined I could possess. Even though we’ve had days & nights of crying/screaming until Magnus is hoarse; I don’t feel at all close to getting upset other than I’ve cried because I feel bad for not being able to comfort him. When he cries that hard my heart breaks a little. Of course when he calms down & looks at me with his wide eyes I am captivated.

My brain feels split in two though. I’m so excited & feel amazingly blessed to have the honor of being a mom. I truly enjoy the feedings & don’t even mind the diapers (it’s only been seven weeks…that could certainly change) that seem to pile up everywhere. On the other hand I’m sad, feeling isolated & very much alone. My thoughts are so jumbled I don’t even have the words really. Mostly I feel like I’m watching everything from outside myself. There’s this film over everything–like a shade between what I’m experiencing as a mom & my thoughts. I loathe feeling the disconnect–I know it keeps me from truly living every day. This summer is passing me by so fast it is a blur of days that are notable only for their sameness. I can only pick out a few days as being special. Obviously the day of Magnus’ birth….

Basically I don’t really know what to say without spilling all my worry & depression out. So I’m trying to be silent & if I can’t be silent I’m trying to fake being okay….

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Posted in Baby Stuff, I should be in therapy, What's in my Head

The Weekend That Wasn’t

22 Jun

So a couple weeks back I previewed some upcoming posts. I haven’t forgotten that promise…however life has had other plans for me. So rather than recap “Wheels & Squeals” like I had planned it will be a bit of this & that.

This past weekend was the local summer festival weekend. There were tons of activities along with plenty of vendors for the all important RibFest. Friday night the action kicked off with a Burnout contest followed by an ugliest/loudest car contest. Unfortunately I missed all of that as I had spent most of my day in the maternity/delivery area of the hospital being monitored for extremely high blood pressure. I was released & sent home to R E S T!

burn out remains

Burn Out Alley

Saturday was promising as a bright sunny day & we had plans to be out for a bit enjoying the weather and festivities. Of course I wanted to check out all the cars at the car show & late in the afternoon was the greased pig chase I was anxious to witness (hey, I wanted pictures to share with you all). As life would have it none of those plans were to be. After being awake for awhile it became apparent that I was headed back to the hospital.

I spent about 6 hours lying in the labor/delivery area of the hospital hooked up to the fetal monitor & sphygmomanometer (blood pressure cuff). I also had blood drawn & a urinalysis. After several readings it was apparent that my blood pressure was normal & Baby was doing great. I got a large IV bag of fluids to keep me from getting dehydrated (when they finally placed the IV…I got 2 blown veins in my right forearm & some nice bruising) & was subsequently released to head home.

Since it was dinner time we met up with my brother A & his wife A to head downtown to RibFest. We started with Willingham’s ribs. They use a dry rub & any sauce is served on the side. We tried the Cajun Hot Sauce which added a nice bite & heat to the ribs. We also sampled the Sweet N Sassy sauce which is great if you don’t want anything too spicy. Next we had the pulled pork & brisket from Rowdy Hog Smokin’ BBQ. The pulled pork was tender & savory while the brisket simply melted on the tongue. We sampled the Rowdy Hot sauce with the brisket. For me it really added to the flavor of the brisket while not overpowering the melty tenderness. Finally we had a single sample of the Dixie Dew Hellbound Hot from Skin & Bones BBQ. This was the one with the most kick to me but the heat didn’t overwhelm everything else.

Overall it was good to get out of the house even if I didn’t really do anything except sit on a picnic table bench & eat. I also braved the idea & tried bacon/chocolate kettle corn. Don’t give me that disgusted look…it was very, very tasty! I’m looking forward to next year when we can go & I’m not on bed rest.

2 Comments

Posted in Miscellaneous, Out & About, The Life We Lead

A Preview of Upcoming Posts

12 Jun

Every small town in this area (in fact in the country probably) has some type of summer weekend fling. They celebrate the town’s heritage etc. Here we have “Wheels & Squeals”…a combination car show & rib fest weekend. There are quite a few events along with food, requisite beer garden & live music. After reading the proposed events it has been decided that in spite of my bed rest requirements we must attend some of the events. Obviously I will be taking my lawn chair as well as my camera. I could not in all good conscience •not• bring my beloved readers a look at what is sure to be a white trashy good time. I mean who wants to miss the burnout contest, ugliest/loudest car contest, greased pig chase and so much more.

All of this occurs next weekend (coinciding with a visit from my mother-in-law) so stay tuned for what is surely going to be a weekend of ….well quite possibly abject horror.

I also need to recap our trip to RockFest in KC last month. We had a good time & enjoyed seeing Hubby’s brother. I will take the time to post the pictures I managed to take along with a full description of all the craziness we witnessed.

Of course there is always baby stuff for me to carry on about but we shall see if I have the energy to hash over how I’m doing in that department.

In the meantime I highly recommend that you check out the following blogs for something entertaining, thought-provoking & just plain good reading.

Check out my friend Mary at Fit This, Girl! for fitness tips, encouragement, good recipes & general boosting of spirits.

A Twitter friend, Sugarwilla over at her blog is working on 30 Days of Gratitude. Stop for a bit & leave a comment.

Another Twitter friend, Amy over at Taste Like Crazy always has something fun going on. Check her out for wild & crazy stories about being a mom, writer, wife etc.

For a look at what’s happening with one of my favorite bands check out Shadow Gallery. I know they are rehearsing for a trip to Europe where they will debut live at ProgPower Europe 2010.

Another place to check out some great music & writing is over at The Mutant Mouse Chronicles. The head Mutant Mouse has been writing a lot & also has links to where you can get his music. I highly recommend you get some (or all) of what is on offer.

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Posted in Miscellaneous, Musings, Out & About, What's in my Head

Baby On My Mind

03 Jun

I know you’re not surprised to see that I’ve got Baby on the brain. Seriously I’ve got a month left until the little one is due & nothing else to focus on. There is SO much that needs to be done around the house & yet here I sit on the couch watching TV. Now that sounds lazy & let me tell you it feels even lazier! However, I know that it is best for Baby so I’m doing my very, very best to be good. There are days where I don’t do as much sitting as I should. Those days are usually spent at least partially at the doctor’s office getting hooked up to all kinds of monitors to see if Baby is behaving him/herself. Usually the answer is no…in fact I’ve had quite a few ultrasounds in the past couple weeks. Seems Baby doesn’t really want to move around when the doctor is watching; nor show anybody a clear view of any features. We have tried & tried but each time we go for a profile picture or a facial picture Baby gets creative in hiding. The first time Baby simply rolled over & presented his/her butt to the camera. The second time Baby decided that just hiding behind hands wasn’t enough & pulled both feet up as well. Attempt number 3 was Baby flattening the whole face against the wall of the uterus…rather like pressing your face tightly against a window or pillow. The last time we did get a bit of a profile so we know that Baby has eyes, nose, mouth, chin but there’s little to let us distinguish any characteristics. Seems Baby takes after Mom in a few ways. *smile*

Of course I’m also thinking of all the stuff that I really should have when we bring Baby home. Fortunately I was given a wonderful Pak n’ Play which is already set up in our bedroom. It’s pink & gray so I’m hoping this is a girl…otherwise our son will be getting in touch with his feminine side early. I also found a fantastic high chair (which I obviously won’t need for a while) with extra tray inserts. The inserts are awesome & have little compartments so food doesn’t have to mix together. Yes it makes my OCD heart go pitter-patter to think about them. {I can’t even eat. The food keeps touching. I like military plates, I’m a military man, I want a military meal. I want my string beans to be quarantined! I like a little fortress around my mashed potatoes so the meatloaf doesn’t invade my mashed potatoes and cause mixing in my plate! I HATE IT when food touches! I’m a military man, you understand that? And don’t let your food touch either, please? ~LL Cool J as Patrick Zevo in “Toys”}

Anyway, I’ve got a car seat, a place for Baby to sleep & lots of love…what I don’t have yet are diapers, clothes, blankets and all the other things. I have about a dozen onesies but I know that once Baby arrives I will have a package filled with (gender appropriate) clothing coming from a friend who is blessing us with her generosity. Just another reason I find that being on Twitter is an amazing blessing sometimes. As for the diapers, blankets etc I guess I’m just having faith that I will have enough of what is needed. I know we’ll get quite a few receiving blankets from the hospital & I have several heavier blankets (not that I will need them in July) along with a quilt that Grandma B made for me years ago. Sadly Grandma B is no longer here but she made quilts for all her grandchildren who didn’t yet have kids before she died. It is very special that I’ll have that blanket in which to bring my first born home.

I’m not sure how the labor, delivery etc will go…not that I can know that but I do need to start thinking of being prepared. That means packing a bag of stuff I’ll need in the hospital. The big wild card is when all this will happen. Since Hubby has been at his job less than a year he has ZERO vacation time. That means any time he spends with me is unpaid time off. There is just no way we can afford for him to miss more than 1 day of work. I’m praying that I go in on a Friday night & am out of the hospital on Monday. That way Hubby can be with us in the hospital & not miss work. It’s a catch-22 situation because I want nothing more than for Hubby to be there the whole time….thinking that he might miss a moment of our precious little one’s arrival makes me sad.

Overall I am anxious for the next month to be over…not because I am tired of being pregnant (although it is getting tiring) but because I can barely stand waiting to SEE & HOLD this little one, to spend hours watching him/her sleep, to snuggle into bed at night as a family, to watch Hubby be a father & to show Baby off to the world.

4 Comments

Posted in Baby Stuff

Inconsistency Thy Name Is…

31 May

Yes I know it’s been ages since I wrote anything here. Truth be told I’m suffering from a lack of inspiration. Of course there is always Baby to think about yet I’m not totally prepared to share all of that with ya’ll. There’s so much going on in my head there that I can’t really organize it all. Not to mention I am suffering from “pregnancy brain”…that is to say I have the attention span of an earthworm when I’m awake & that isn’t very much as I seem to have developed a form of narcolepsy over the past 8 months.

So here I am snuggling into bed for the night after having decided that I wanted to change the look of my blog. This is a totally different format than anything I’ve seen before & I’m going to try it out for a bit. I would love to get some feedback on this so please (pretty, pretty please with a cherry & chocolate drizzle on top) leave a comment.

I’m contemplating setting up a separate domain/subdomain for any poetry that I may write & migrating what’s on here to that space. We shall see as I have no idea how to go about that & my brain is mush.

Basically all I can say is that I haven’t forgotten about this blog & would like to write more…I just don’t seem to be able to find the words. I know, I know…how can that possibly be? Yet here I am struggling to finish this random post.

I also want to mention a blog that I read (inconsistently at best much to my shame) Sugarwilla & Spice. During the month of June she is going to focus on “30 days of Gratitude” during June. Please stop by & read her blog…participate if you feel so moved.

That’s all for now…we’ll see if I can get more consistent with posting over the next month…and then Baby arrives– that should be good for some pictures at least.

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Posted in Baby Stuff, Miscellaneous, Musings, The Life We Lead, What's in my Head

Baby Talk

13 Apr

While I’m assuming anybody who knows me knows that I am pregnant I haven’t really talked much about being pregnant. Partly because life (as you well know) has been a crazy disaster of insanity but also because I don’t want to bore ya’ll with the minutiae of the pregnancy. I figure if you call yourself a part of my life in even a small way you know what a big deal it was for us to discover that we were expecting. In fact words can’t describe the feeling we had (have still) when we got a positive test.

Anyway this post if going to be full of crazy talk about Baby Fred (we don’t know the sex but my 7 year old nephew Squash has decided he thinks our names are boring & that Fred is a much cooler name), how I’ve been feeling about being pregnant, the fact that my brain is turning to mush & other fun things. Indulge me as I really don’t talk in depth about this very much….mostly I’ve limited it to an occasional status update that I’m tired/feeling fat/sad/cranky/going to the doctor.

Today I had my 4th doctor’s appointment, my 2nd ultrasound & a glucose test. The doctor’s appointments have been very routine & the doctor is very pleased with how I am doing. I have excellent blood pressure & have maintained my weight to my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m astonished by this particular feat but very thankful because I’d hate for someone to mistake my pasty whiteness as some sort of exotic giant water mammal when Baby Fred makes an appearance.

I had another ultrasound (I’m guessing ‘cuz I’m nearly 35 & the size of a 3rd world hut) & Baby Fred looks good. Well what I could see…Baby Fred is as active as ever & very camera shy. In a bid to keep us guessing about looks, Baby Fred managed to hide behind both hands before impressing us by hiding behind a foot. Good to know the little one is flexible but rather frustrating as I’d like a picture. Of course I can’t complain too much….after all I’m liable to hide behind my hands too when someone attempts taking a picture of me.

We got to see the bones in the arms & legs which was cool as well as the heart beating. Heart rate is very good & strong. All the fingers & toes are in place so barring a bizarre in utero accident I fully expect to be able to count them one by one in a few weeks. I am scheduled to have another ultrasound in six weeks just to check on growth etc. They aren’t expecting anything out of the ordinary but are being cautious since I fall in the “high-risk” category.

The best thing is feeling how active Baby Fred is lately. Over the last two weeks the belly acrobatics have increased dramatically. What was an occasional flutter or bump has morphed into a serious punchkick routine. The other day I was lying on the couch reading Chaucer when suddenly my book was jolted so hard I lost my place on the page. I’m not sure if that was a judgement of my reading material or a warning that giant books rested on my belly are fair game for Baby Fred to punt about.

Baby Fred also enjoys the music that plays throughout the house. We’ve played a variety of music to see what type of reactions we get. Classical usually results in a sort of swaying, rocking motion. 80s music causes a boppy sort of Molly Ringwald/George Michael dance which is entertaining but quickly starts to feel uncomfortable. Rock (especially metal & prog rock) sends Baby Fred to new heights with all sorts of wiggling, jamming & punchkicking. Since we are going to RockFest in KC next month we’ll see what happens there.

Mostly I’m doing well being pregnant….though I am always exhausted it seems. Health-wise things are normal & though I have caught every virus/bacteria that has come along that is to be expected. At least I’m building Baby Fred’s immunity to colds, stomach flu, bronchitis etc. I got my glucose test back & I’m completely normal (well at least my blood sugar is normal) so that means one less concern.

I guess now the only thing to do is keep on with what I’ve been doing, find a few baby items (I’ve got nothing right now but a swing, a pac ‘n play & my old baby quilt) and hope that things continue to go this smoothly.

1 Comment

Posted in Baby Stuff, Family

A Burst of Spring

11 Apr

A year ago I waxed (somewhat) poetic about the joys of spring. I was often found sitting on my front patio (sometimes wrapped in a large blanket) enjoying the sounds, scents & sun of that time. I reveled at my country dwelling & all the charms present. Flowers blooming, trees flowering & heavy with the scent of promised fall apples. The nearby water offered up the choral performances of frogs calling for mates. It was a heady time full of desire & I was stepping out into an unknown realm. I was more than ready to embrace it & my exuberance was obvious.

This year is a world apart from that time. I’m feeling much more jaded with life (not that I’ve ever been much of a wide-eyed girl) and find it hard to look at anything like I did then. My summer took a turn when I ended up in hospital for a week at the beginning of August. That set me back physically as expected but the mental aspect I was something for which I was NOT prepared.

With my plans & dreams of the spring wilting under the heat of late summer & my body betraying me I was lost. For the first time I was enveloped in a fog of depression. I wasn’t ready to deal with it nor even to admit it (not even in my own head) for a long time. I pulled into myself, avoiding as much contact/interaction with people as I could, and felt the promising blossoms of spring turn with the oncoming fall weather.

Work was more than a difficult situation, life at home was increasingly frustrating as we tried to find a solution to Abe’s jobless status & I felt like hibernating. We made a big decision to start looking for jobs & housing outside of our current area. This led to several trips back to my hometown area as jobs were more available and housing was much less expensive. Soon we had agreed that a move to another state (near where I grew up) was in order & preparations began.

Now we are moved in if not settled in & things are going okay. With the oncoming warm weather I find that glimmer of light encouraging me that I will find the end of this feeling (whatever it may be…I’m hard pressed to define it). Life is about to go around another sharp curve this summer when I finally become a mother. July 6th is fast approaching & I am totally unprepared for the event. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that there really isn’t a way I can be prepared…and we all know how I like to be prepared, organized & ready for any eventuality.

Right now I’m sitting on my new patio in our tiny little backyard feeling the wind from the prairie whoosh through town & enjoying the sun, blossoming trees & occasional birdsong….a burst of spring to remind me that nothing remains unchanged.

1 Comment

Posted in I AM, Memories, Musings, The Life We Lead, What's in my Head

The Marriage Strain

07 Apr

When I met Hubby it was one of those things that you know at the time are going to affect the rest of your life. I was proven correct in that within a few short months. By the time we had known each other for a year we were engaged & had 6 months to plan a wedding. It was a challenge & there were times we both thought about just running away to somewhere new.

After the wedding (which mostly went pretty well) we were immediately thrust back into the harsh light of reality. Not that it wasn’t great but nothing was different other than I had to remember what my last name was. He worked long hours at various construction sites & I searched for a job (I had been laid off 6 weeks before our wedding when the e-business I worked for went belly up). After a month or so I found a job & off I went to the office every other day. I worked part-time for an eyeglass frame company. We sold wholesale to distributors & shops around the globe…and it was stressful at times. Then I’d get home & try to be a housewife. (I’m awful at housewifely duties…I detest cleaning, doing dishes etc. I am always willing to procrastinate until it MUST be done.)

After a couple years we decided to make a big change & move out of the city to northern Minnesota. That little thing threw a whole new spin into our marriage. We went from being together every day to seeing each other only on the weekends. Abe would leave early, early on Monday morning to commute to the Cities & stay there until after work on Friday. Then after a 2 hour drive home I’d finally get to see him. We spent two years with that routine.

Talk about putting strain on a marriage. (Yes I know people do that all the time. That doesn’t make it any less hard on their relationships or on mine.) I would spend all week alone, taking care of the puppies & the house. We both learned to sleep alone…something that was a challenge to overcome some nights when we were together. With my inability to lie in one spot & his talking while kicking and punching it was a free-for-all. Mostly we managed to take it in stride though I was often lonely. Finally we reached the point where the stars aligned & Abe found a job near our home.

Sometimes I wonder how much strain a marriage can take though. After getting a really decent job near our home, I also got a part-time job & things seemed to be heading toward something good. Surprise!! but not so much. Instead after a year Abe was suddenly without a job & no prospects on the horizon. Job opportunities got more & more scarce. He went to work with his dad on their own company while I continued in my office job. We made ends meet for the most part, then I got sick. I pushed on for over a year after my first vicious gallbladder attack.

Then this past August I ended up hospitalized for a week. I had dozens of tests & after 5 days was sent home with some meds for pain. At the same time we were making the decision to move again…this time to a different state. As we began working on that plan I struggled to deal with a work environment that was more than difficult. The stress was palpable everywhere I went. Abe did what he could to help me & encourage me to recover from being so ill.

Then in the midst of finding a place to live, jobs and all we got what is the most amazing, joyful news–we were pregnant. More stress piled on as we processed the idea of becoming parents. Then we moved, I continued to fight different illnesses, Abe interviewed for different jobs & finally found one.

There’s so much strain & stress that we’ve gone through the last few years. Now it seems like there’s more piling up every day. He works long hard hours building houses & I’m dealing with a challenging pregnancy. On top of that I’m battling depression which sucks my ambition & joy right up. It’s all I can do to get out of bed many days. Abe struggles to understand what I’m going through and what his role as “Dad” will be.

I’m not saying that we’re breaking up or that things are awful. Rather there’s this strain…a stretching of our bond that doesn’t seem to have an end. We are more irritable toward each other; less forgiving that the dishwasher isn’t empty or there’s muddy footprints on the floor. Life has inundated us with a lot of the ick & the good is drowning. We push back but are getting tired of it. The strain is starting to tell & while it is just a phase it is a phase that can’t end quickly enough.

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Posted in Family, I AM, The Life We Lead, What's in my Head

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