Something Creative » Patently Ridiculous

No Wonder Kids Can’t Read

Nil17 — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 18:30:12 +0000

Magnus has been battling bug after bug this is month. We have been out and about a lot since the July 4th weekend & he has paid the price.

First we got the pleasure of rotavirus. Nothing like a week for the nastiest, poopiest diapers to make me wish I could let Magnus run bare through the yard all day & hose him off at night. Just as the rotavirus disappeared we saw a runny nose start. This lasted a couple days; then appeared to go away. Unfortunately it came back with a vengence… Runny nose, cough and general crankiness has ensued. In the meantime a new tooth has appeared.

After a couple days where Magnus appeared to be getting better, the goopy eye appeared. I gave it a couple days but there was no improvement so today began with a trip to acute care.

Magnus is a trooper and was so good with all the stethoscopes & ear probes that he more than earned a special treat. We decided that some alphabet blocks would be perfect. Magnus loves anything that can be stacked (and then knocked over) plus we already like to practice singing our alphabet…. Well I sing, Magnus just bobs along with the music. Still there is no such thing as starting too early (provided there isn’t crazy pressure to be a wunderkind).

Anyway, we purchased the blocks & as I prepared to open them I took a closer look at the description on the packaging. Imagine my surprise when I realized there are only 20 letters in the set.

That’s right folks, apparently nobody is smart enough to figure out how to squeeze in the last 6 letters of the alphabet. That means after “T” your kids are plain out of luck when using this nifty little alphabet blocks set. Seriously, I don’t see how there isn’t some sort of disclaimer on the package. At the very least it should say: “Warning: Partial alphabet, not really good for learning.” I can’t even use these blocks to spell my kid’s name! Not only am I missing a letter from his first name but I can’t spell his middle name either because there’s a letter missing from that as well. Good grief!

After opening the package I was confronted by the following…

Can you spot the problem with this partial alphabet? It’s bad enough that they can’t manage to get all 26 letters of our alphabet into a single set (I wonder where the letters U-Z end up? Isn’t this discrimination?? I’m writing my congresspersons…certainly this is racisim. I mean how dare these toy people leave out U, V, W, X, Y & Z?? It’s ridiculous! Who is to say that the other letters are more important & worthy than the final 6 letter?? Hey we can even hold a rally & chant. ”Free the Final 6” or “We want the Final 6”). Apparently the person (or machine) that places all these blocks isn’t smart enough to know that “M” comes before “N” & that “Q” is facing the wrong way. Certainly if all the blocks were random I wouldn’t deign to comment, but since every letter but two are in the proper order & direction (not to mention the sudden breaking of the color pattern) why not get them all the right way? Seems silly to disrespect “Q” by removing it from it’s proper place & directional orientation. Of course maybe the goal was to send a subliminal message to all children playing with this set of blocks… I mean if you look carefully at the bottom row it clearly states that “Mrs” is the goal of life. Either to become one or to have one. Certainly no toy manufacturer really thinks they can coerce our children into such traditional roles. That’s ridiculous & frankly insulting… I mean, seriously, the gender typified role of being a married woman is archaic at best?!? (For those of you just joining in: I am a stay-at-home, married mother of two.)

Maybe this is all just so much tempest in a teapot? Could it be that I’m jumping to wild conclusions based on nothing more than conjecture, crazy theories & a desire to find scandal where none exists?? Surely it isn’t that…

On a serious note though: I do wish that all the letters were included. It is a rather half-assed thing to present the alphabet missing any of the letters. My son is just a year old, where else on his path to learning will I find gaping holes in the fundamentals that he should be learning?

My Hacker

Nil17 — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 04:39:11 +0000

Over the weekend I was informed by my sister-in-law that my blog had been hacked. Not the best gtalk message to receive as my pillow was getting fluffed just right on Saturday night.

Off I went to my desktop pc and logged into my webhosting site where I contacted the live support person. They immediately directed me to submit a help ticket request to the tech support center.

I submitted the help request, changed my password for the blog site and headed back to bed. Of course my brain was on overload at this point so I was rather wide awake. I went to check my blog from my phone (from whence I am composing this missive) only to find that it had been hijacked yet again. By now I was really pissed off.

Abe was awake and we were talking about what a hassle the whole thing was and how silly that I had gotten hacked. I started to think of all the websites out there on the interwebz my little blog got hacked. I mentioned how it was nearly worthy of a “REALLY?!?!?!?” segment a la Weekend Update. Abe laughed and told me I had my next blog post…so without further ado here it is.

The following text was basically what appeared on my blog. It was white text on a black background & there was a stylized skull and crossbones in the center of the page.

{#} Team [redacted Middle Eastern Country] hacker{#}
{#}The [redacted] hack{#}
This What We Do Hacking all The Time
Just open your eyes you fucked
Team [redacted Middle Eastern Country] hacker We Never Play
See ya

Really? That’s the scariest language you’ve got? I mean really…you *never* play? That just sounds boring. And you “do hacking” all the time? Really? So you don’t take time to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom? I suppose that guarantees you don’t shower… And really?? You manage to hack my blog…my teeny little onlyhasonereader (my cousin…okay, two readers since my sis-in-law noticed the hack) blog. Wow, what an accomplishment! I mean really…all the other hackers will be so impressed. You managed to disable what could be the most insignificant site in all the interwebz. Oh wait, was this your “jumping in” to the hacker world? That would make slightly more sense. Seriously though I doubt it would give you much street cred…really, I wish you luck in your quest to be taken seriously in the hacker world. Really. As of now everything is restored (obviously as you’re reading it) and not too badly for wear. We now return you to your regularly scheduled prattle.

Politics: A Rant

Nil17 — Wed, 25 May 2011 16:47:00 +0000

Today is May 25, 2011… There are 531 days until the November election in 2012. I’m already so sick of hearing about it that I’m tempted to delete anybody from my online life that talks about it.

The Republicans don’t like anybody from the Democrats. The Democrats detest anyone who is conservative. Then there is the in party fighting…

The candidates barely announce their intention to run before they are cannabalized by their own so-called supporters. Frankly it sickens me. I understand the need to be critical of the next leader of our country; whether it be our current president gaining a second term or a new face. We need the best person for the job. I think everybody can agree that there’s a lot wrong in our country and our government as a whole bears the responsibility.

However, I really don’t think that it is productive to look at a potential candidate and poke fun at how “exciting” he may or may not be. (See Exciting Things About Tim Pawlenty ).

Now I’m not endorsing Mr. Pawlenty (or anybody else for that matter). Rather I want the focus to be on what can be done NOW for the many people who have suffered devastating losses due to natural disasters. We have seen cities flattened, counties flooded and people left with nothing. Meanwhile the main focus on the news seems to be the latest Presidential faux pas in Britain & the retirement of Oprah.

I feel frustrated at the disconnect I see between what happens in our everyday lives while our government is concerned with random shit. I don’t care if a candidate is exciting or comes from an exciting state…I care what practical ideas they have to fix what’s wrong: high unemployment, higher fuel prices, communities trying to rebuild…

So excuse me while I skip the crazed early days of 9,000 candidates. I’m looking for a little less excitement & a hell of a lot of substance.

Edu-ma-ka-schun

Nil17 — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 03:38:36 +0000

I’m going to begin this story the way all classic stories begin…

Once upon a time there was a boy name Joshua. Joshua was like most kids his age (8)…he liked video games & movies, running around outside & playing with his cousin JD. Like all boys he could get into trouble in the most entertaining ways. He was inquisitive & imaginative; never short on explanations for his escapades either. Joshua was a sweet boy when he chose to be…willing to help his mom & generous with telling her she did a good job.

The biggest (well one of the biggest anyway) challenges with Joshua was getting him to sit still & listen in class. In order to help him with that, he attended two years of kindergarten. The extra year helped quite a bit though Joshua is still a little rambunctious at times. Nothing that would require medication-more just growing up. Now in first grade, Joshua is working on reading, math & all the good stuff that comes with that. Before I continue with Joshua’s school adventures we should explore the school itself.

This is a rural farming area in the Upper Midwest. Picture your stereotypical small town life—get rid of the hillbillies, hicks & rednecks—well not get rid of them; just don’t populate the entire area with them. Since this area is comprised of many small farming communities the schools have combined districts in order to keep the schools open. This means that 3-4 schools are combined & bus kids to various schools. There are usually at least 2 sections to any given grade but never more than 4 sections. In fact I think 4 might be really pushing it. With the towns combining districts this means that the normal grade size is between 30-60. We will work with 50 since that’s a nice round number. Fifty kids to a grade would mean 25 kids to a classroom. A decent size class though not totally unmanageable. For the most part classes tend to be a tad smaller.

Back to Joshua—as a first grader he is learning the consequences of acting out more than in kindergarten. When I say acting out I mean yelling out answers without raising his hand, jumping up to help with passing out papers without permission or being upset that he doesn’t have a job to do if the teacher passes it to another student. He is working on it & getting MUCH better. Joshua’s eagerness to participate sometimes overwhelms his “indoor” voice. Another thing that Joshua doesn’t always judge well is when to be silly. Let’s face it, the kid is only 8 and he has embraced childhood completely. This is as it should be…life gets complicated quickly enough these days.

Joshua has a very quick & odd sense of humor. This is in no way discouraged by any family member & that includes aunts, uncles and grandparents. Joshua’s grandpa, T loves to joke around, pull pranks & generally laugh. Grandpa T is good at doing silly voices & had spent a weekend talking to Joshua in a duck voice. Think Daffy Duck flustered & sputtering. Joshua loved it & quickly picked up the knack for doing the duck voice himself. Fastforward to the next week in school. Mrs 1st Grade, his teacher, asks Joshua to do something in class. Joshua isn’t feeling cooperative & says, “No”. The teacher asks a second time & Joshua decides that in order to really make his point he will quack his answer. Needless to say Joshua got off the bus with a note from the teacher. After patiently (and with a great deal of exasperation) explaining that quacking was only allowed with Grandpa T, Joshua’s mom shared the story with the rest of the family. I mean, while it wasn’t polite to quack at the teacher, it certainly is worth a hearty chuckle.

Recently though things have taken an odd turn with regard to Joshua’s actual education. Being in first grade, Joshua is learning to read…or so his mom thought. Lately though Joshua has been coming home with papers that have been graded & a note saying “This paper was read to Joshua during class”. Another note said, “Due to Joshua’s slow reading this paper was read to him during class”. Joshua’s mom is troubled by what this means. After all, learning to read is a fundamental skill; if Joshua isn’t working on his reading IN school where should he be working on it?

Now I can hear all the people who are going to clamor that the parent(s) need to be involved with Joshua’s education. There’s no argument there & Joshua’s mom does work with him at home though not always as much as she would like. Joshua’s father isn’t around so he is a non-issue. The real deal here is that reading is something that MUST be taught in school. Forget the politically correct stuff—the “How to be Green” and whatever else is taught these days. First & foremost what needs to be taught are the fundamentals— reading, writing & arithmetic.

Granted there are 20 some students in the classroom so individual time with each student is harder to manage. On the other hand there are 2 adults in the room. The teacher & a certified teacher’s aide. When I think back to my own days in elementary school we did a lot of practice on reading. We even read out loud…including the slow readers. I was a quick study with books so I remember wondering why we had to keep reading our primers. I got sick of “Dick can run. See Dick run. Run Dick Run.” “Jane sees Dick. Jane sees Dick run.” However, we went the pace of the majority of the class. It was too slow for a couple of us; it may have been too fast for a couple students as well but by the time we moved to second grade everybody had a decent handle on reading.

So what’s the deal here? Is Joshua so slow that he needs extra help in school?? Why hasn’t the teacher discussed this with Joshua’s mom? Is Joshua really that slow or is the teacher trying to hurry the students through their assignments & tests? The big problem as Joshua’s mom sees it — she is sending her son to school to learn to read & rather than learning to read the teacher is doing it for Joshua. No wonder we are doing so poorly on test scores, falling behind other countries in education & are graduating children who are almost completely illiterate. If we don’t teach our children to read (and work hard with the ones who need it most) then we are setting them up for failure. If this is happening in a class of 25 kids or less think what is happening in the giant city schools. It is to weep.

The Death of Critical Thinking

Nil17 — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 05:43:10 +0000

I have a deep love of books & as a self-described English geek I take pride in my love of much classic literature. I remember vividly the first time I read Shakespeare’s plays & the first time I fell under the spell of Scarlett O’Hara & her beloved Tara. I was 10 maybe 11 years old & while my classmates were checking out Nancy Drew & Hardy Boys mysteries (not that there’s anything wrong with them…I’ve read my share & enjoyed them too) I was lugging giant books home to pour over late into the night. I also clearly recall sitting in class in elementary school and listening to the teacher read a chapter of a book aloud every day. The first time I became acquainted with Mark Twain was when I sat, transported, as the teacher read Tom Sawyer & then The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. It was magical.

Recently it was announced that a new edition of Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn going to be released. The reasoning for the new edition is the use of the n-word throughout the text.

The word occurs more than 200 times in Huckleberry Finn, first published in 1884, and its 1876 precursor, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, which tell the story of the boys’ adventures along the Mississippi river in the mid-19th century. In the new edition, the word will be replaced in each instance by “slave”. The word “injun” will also be replaced in the text.

The new edition’s Alabama-based publisher, NewSouth books, says the development is a “bold move compassionately advocated” by the book’s editor, Twain scholar Dr Alan Gribben of Auburn University, Montgomery. It will have the effect, the publisher claims, of replacing “two hurtful epithets” in order to “counter the ‘pre-emptive censorship‘ that Dr Gribben observes has caused these important works of literature to fall off curriculum lists worldwide.” ¹

Surely Mark Twain is going to spend years haunting the people who approved this. Writers (at least the really good ones) choose words for a reason. They use words to evoke a sense of place, to provoke the reader into the mindset that will carry the individual deep into the text. Twain’s use of the n-word was very deliberate; part of his social commentary on the era in which the use of such language was prevalent. That word today is verboten, as it should be, in common speech. However, to remove it from a text such as Twain’s Huckleberry Finn or Tom Sawyer is not only censorship but also a revisionist version of history.

Our society is so consumed with avoiding the possibility of offending others that we have tossed common sense & critical thinking out with our unrecycled styrofoam. How can we learn from our history if we are so busy snipping, patching & denying what happened? Yes there was a time where people used racial slurs on a regular basis…it is a sad part of our past. We cannot pretend it didn’t happen–doing that not only rewrites the past but it also negates the work done by civil rights activists.

When I was learning about these stories in elementary school we discussed the mentality of the times, the language, customs etc. We were taught why the racial slurs were unacceptable…not just in school but at home too. Now we treat our children like mushrooms…keep them in the dark & feed them a fine line of crap. Rather than use Huck Finn as a discussion tool we sanitize it to make sure nobody is offended. Our educational system should be the finest in the world. Instead we are rewriting history, smoothing over the ugly parts of classic literature and generally removing the process of critical thinking from learning. We are creating children who accept whatever they are told. There isn’t any reason for them to examine what is right & wrong (or socially acceptable–think Golden Rule).

Sanitized literature (and history) does no favors for anybody. It keeps us from learning, from repeating the mistakes of past generations…as Satayana famously said, “Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it”. I shudder to think what we are dooming our children to repeat by not remembering & teaching our unvarnished past.

Planet vs Germs

Nil17 — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 14:10:38 +0000

Since I’m at home every day the TV is on a lot. This means I see or hear a lot of incredibly stupid commercials. Thanks to daytime television I now know I should be taking a prescription for my eyelashes to be thicker, one for chronically dry eyes & even one in case I have a heavy period (Commonly known as heavy monthly bleeding… really? They were so desperate to sell another pharmaceutical that this was the best name they could come up with for the “disease”?).

One commercial that I’ve seen about 12 bajillion times is one for disposable hand towels. Basically the commercial is all about how if you want to keep your family healthier you won’t use the same towel over & over. Instead they want you to spend about $5/120 disposable hand towels…so let’s say you are an average household with 2 adults & 2 kids…you each wash your hands about 10 times a day. That’s 40 towels per day so that’s 280 per week. Well round down to make the math all even…so 2 boxes a week for a year is $520 on disposable hand towels. Geez that adds up fast! I don’t know about you but I can find a lot of things to do with $520. Of course it isn’t just money either but trash…all that waste going into landfills & all the trees being cut down to produce new towels. These are the same people that would have us recycle & “go green”.

Excuse me while I bang my head on the wall…. Okay I’m back. So on one hand we are all far too germy AFTER washing our hands that sharing a hand towel is no longer “safe”. On the other hand we are supposed to limit our impact on the planet. How do we do that if we are cutting down trees to make these disposable hand towels? I’m befuddled by the logic behind this. Meanwhile we are so busy protecting our children from everything we experienced that they are too fat, too pale (gotta love the rise in rickets from all the high SPF sunscreen. I mean really? What are we—pirates from the 1600’s? Add in some scurvy & we’re all bilge rats on the main.) & have every type of allergy imaginable.

Want some insight into why kids don’t run around outside like we used to? Try the fact that should they run around playing cops & robbers they are likely to be arrested for it. Seriously, when I was little we used to play cops/robbers, cowboys/Indians and 42 other variations of good guy vs bad guy. We used water pistols, sticks & our hands as fake guns. Nowadays that could get you locked up. It’s a sad state of affairs when kids can play increasingly realistic shooter video games yet playing outside with a gun shaped toy could lead to some pretty severe consequences.

There isn’t really a point to this post other than a mini rant & a chance to share how puzzled I am by our society. I’m befuddled by the thought process of saving the planet by insisting that we use more toss-away products. I miss the days of metal slides on playgrounds, sword fighting with sticks & running around with sun-kissed skin all summer long.

Things Learned on a Tuesday Morning

Nil17 — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 18:52:20 +0000

Learned some things this morning when I got up today. It was all a bit harsh for the unfiltered light of a Tuesday morning. As I stumbled, bleary-eyed from a night of being up with the Boy, through the bathroom I caught a glimpse of myself in the Mirror of Doom. I have to say on a scale of 1-horrifying it was definitely horrifying with a side of OMG. After that jolt, I’ve decided that never EVER being naked for any reason is a must. Despite the fact I’ve lost a truly good amount of weight in the last four months things are certainly not looking better. With the vertical scar down the center of my stomach, the bizarre increase of hail damage & stretch marks (which I did NOT have during pregnancy) I look like a candidate for a Halloween costume model. I light of that moment I proceeded to dress in two long sleeve shirts & jeans. (The fact that it is fall here in the Midwest & quite cool may have also had a little something to do with it.) I have been “exercising”…if you call running up & down the stairs all day, often times holding baby or lugging laundry, exercise. I don’t know that a more consistent regimen would help a lot…it’s like a landslide danger zone rather than a body in progress.

Another lesson I learned is if you ask yourself whether or not the jeans you are about to put on are “Mom jeans” then the answer is probably yes. I don’t know for certain these are but I’m using my educated guessing abilities. I have a couple pair of jeans that definitely are NOT “Mom jeans” but I can’t wear them every day. Again the weight loss is a double edged blessing. I’m into pants that are much smaller than I’ve worn in a long time yet I don’t have any that fit me well. As a fashion plate I am flunking. Too bad I don’t really have a rich relative in . I could use that $4, 682, 379, 510, 000 right now for a shopping spree.

That was all the lessons I could deal with for one day…I decided to skip straight to indulging in some snuggles with Magnus. He’s teething & fighting a wicked head cold. We cuddled & then napped a bit. After he woke up Magnus worked on rolling over…he can roll from tummy to back but hasn’t quite figured out how to reverse that. He gets from his back to almost all the way over but can’t quite manage to get that one arm around. It won’t be long though. I enjoy watching the new things Magnus learns much more than I did my own lessons today.

PS: Mini-rant~~ What is up with all these bizarre commercials for women & their time of the month? Seriously I’ve seen this commercial the last few days talking about experiencing intense monthly bleeding… “It may be a condition known as ‘heavy monthly bleeding’….” Ummm…. REALLY?? I mean REALLY??!!??!! That’s a “condition”? I honestly can’t believe that there is a “medicine” to combat that now. What other “diseases” are being thought up to make women feel like their bodies aren’t good enough as they are? It drives me up a wall that no matter what a woman’s body does somebody somewhere is busy thinking up ways to make us all feel abnormal & in need of medical intervention.

What Are You Thinking About?

Nil17 — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 18:41:39 +0000

The other night Magnus was sleeping early so Abe & I were snuggling; enjoying the quiet time together. After a few minutes of silence I asked what he was thinking about. “Nothing much, just you”, he replied. I laughed; it figures that is the answer I would get. Abe isn’t big on sharing what goes on inside his head. Many times I feel like some sort of mind-reading machine trying to figure out what’s up with him. After a few more minutes Abe asked what I was thinking about. “I’m a girl; there are hundreds of thoughts floating around in my brain. In fact, I really wish I could just shut it off for awhile”, I turned to look at him, “You really don’t want to hear all the stuff that’s floating around up there”. We bantered back and forth for a bit about it. Abe kept insisting he wanted to know what I was thinking; I kept telling him that letting that loose would ruin our quiet mood. Finally to end the discussion I started listing things that were popping up as thoughts. (I have heard the brain described as an intricate filing system. Men can have 2 maybe 3 drawers open at a time; any more & their filing cabinet tips over making a mess. Women can have dozens of drawers open at one time & quickly flip between them. Not only that but women can leave drawers partially open while men shut each drawer firmly.) Here in no particular order are some of the thoughts that I expressed last night…. I’m wondering about moving again, how we will manage the actual move, the logistics of packing with an additional person in the family, how we will manage to clear snow this winter since we don’t have a snow blower & it’s a much larger area than Abe can realistically shovel, how I’m going to furnish/decorate the new house, how Magnus will like the new house, how the dogs will like the new house, that I need the psychologist to call me back so I can make an appointment to discuss taking different meds for my depression, my depression doesn’t seem to be helped by my current meds so what difference does it make if I take them, I need to do my laundry, what to make for my family reunion on Saturday, will the weather be decent on Saturday, how will Magnus deal with traveling that far, will Magnus be in a good frame of mind, what should I wear to the reunion, I hate my hair—I wish it looked nicer, I feel defectivebrokendented, will I ever feel like “myself” again, I need to start back on my WiiFit, I don’t have the motivation to start back on the WiiFit, I need a job, I need to be able to stay home & take care of Magnus, I wish I could get paid to write, how can I get paid to write when I can’t even manage to update my blog on a semi-regular basis…. You get the idea anyway. As I was listing off things that I was thinking about more & more popped into my head. It was a bit like that scene in “Ghostbusters” where the poltergeist makes all the cards fly out of the card catalogue. I told Abe that I felt like my brain was full of posty notes randomly stuck all without any discernible pattern. He laughed as I went on a spiel about how with all those posty notes stuck everywhere it was no wonder my brain wasn’t working right & that I was forgetting things…new posties keep getting stuck on top of old ones. That’s some of what I’m thinking about…what are YOU thinking about?

Boobies on Parade

Nil17 — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 18:43:48 +0000

Lying in bed this morning I was chatting with Abe & we were talking about Baby. Not a big surprise since right now that’s the biggest thing going on with us. Baby Fred was busy showing off & making known how strong s/he is. Of course I got to thinking about what it’ll be like after Baby Fred is born & we go about our lives. For some reason the idea of going out to eat & needing to nurse popped into my head. Now I don’t have a problem with women breastfeeding in public…I was breastfed as were all my siblings. I’ve seen tons of women do it in every type of public space. It’s a very natural & ordinary event to me. Now here comes the but…. I think there are women who abuse the idea of breastfeeding. They whip out the tit & parade it around for the world to see while touting their “right” to nurse their child. Hey you have every right to nurse….you do NOT have the right to wave your milk-laden udder in the faces of every person within the line of sight & then complain when a) they stare or b) they ask y0u to cover up a bit. Seriously if you think popping out a boob in the middle of a restaurant isn’t going to attract some looks you’re out of your ever-loving mind. I’m not saying you have to slink away into a dark corner & hide under a giant tented blanket. I do think that a bit of propriety, some semblance of modesty, is in good taste. Where did all this ranty-ness come from you ask… well quite simply from this news story. It all started on Easter Sunday when this woman nursed her child in a busy restaurant. I’ll let you read the story rather than rehash it here. Basics are she & her family were asked to leave. She claims it was because of the breastfeeding…the restaurant claims it was because her male companion was loud & verbally abusive to employees. Now I’ve eaten in the restaurant in question. In fact I’ve been there with my sister-in-law Anne, her 2 kids & her husband. At the time the youngest E was nursing. He got fussy & needed to be fed before we left. So Anne (who is far more modest than I) proceeded to breastfeed right there in our booth. No fanfare, no big production & no controversy. She simply took care of business & that was that. In fact we’ve been in restaurants all over the place where E needed to eat & there was never a problem. Nobody got offended, pitched a hissy fit or asked us to leave. Why? It’s very simple. Anne simply didn’t feel the need to flip her shirt up to her chin, expose her entire breast & create a scene where she drew attention to the moment. Granted there were people that noticed. I know that employees of the various establishments saw, in fact many times a waiter/waitress would come by the table to see if we needed more service or to deliver the bill. Basically I don’t see a reason why there has to be such a brouhaha about the whole issue. Women have breasts, women with infants tend to breastfeed. Get over your feminist inclinations to force everyone to recognize your “wymynpower”. Just take care of your kid, keep yourself modest (I’m not talking burqas here, but maybe a receiving blanket or a burp cloth) & get on with life. I can guarantee you there are a damn sight more important things than your boobs that need attention in today’s society. If you really need to put your boobies on parade head on down to Mardi Gras.

Seen Your Weiner or Why I Prefer Hooters

Nil17 — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:17:13 +0000

Lately life has been hectic & overwhelming to the point where I’m a hot mess. Recently I’ve been off work quite a bit (ok in the last 2 weeks I’ve worked a total of 5 days) and it has reinforced my need to be done at my current job. However I digress…this post is a review. As a recent music reviewer (which I so enjoyed & hope to do again) I now take pen in hand ….ok keyboard in hand…to give you a review of a new restaurant in Sioux Falls, SD. If you are looking for an adventure in eating I will admit that Señor Wiener is an adventure. However, it’s a frightening adventure filled with double entendre of the lowest caliber. There is nothing clever about the innuendo & even less cleverness in the menu. Purporting to be a novelty hot dog restaurant this place lays on the schtick with a trowel. Wieners, wieners everywhere & no relief in sight (bring your R O L A I D S—just so you are prepared). Now from the outside there’s room for a few snickers & groans at the over the top signs. Just inside the door is a large statue of Señor Wiener along with posters of our “hero” in iconic places/events. The menu is basic & has the potential to be pretty good & seemingly inexpensive. The offerings start with bratwurst, all beef hot dogs, corn dogs or Polish sausage. Choose your white or whole wheat bun & whether you want grilled, boiled or fried. For $2.50 it seems like a good deal…then the pick-pocketing begins. For every additional topping that’s hot (chili, cheese, grilled onions etc) or every cold topping (onions, pickles, peppers, shredded lettuce, shredded cheese, mushrooms, olives etc) it is an additional $.50 & sauces (mayo, hot sauce,barbecue sauce, gravy) are an additional $.25 with the exceptions of traditional ketchup & mustard. Seriously if you want a Chicago-style dog with all the fixings: onions, relish, tomato, kosher dill pickle & sport peppers your hot dog now costs $5.00 plus tax. Add in fries at $2.50 & a soda at $1.50 and you are looking at $9.00 plus tax for a very mediocre meal. Now for the rest of the restaurant…okay I get why Señor Wiener is funny in the most sophomoric of ways. I mean the first time I heard it & saw it I snickered like a 13 year old. It’s funny but the over-the-top nature makes Hooters seem less absurd. Here’s a small taste of what I encountered ….

All in all I will take a trip to Hooters any day. Sure there’s more butt cheek on display there than I really care to see & if I wanted to look at that much cleavage I could do it for free at home but their wings are pretty damn tasty. If I am going to tolerate body parts (or pseudo body parts) with my meal I want something that is more like actual food & less like a chew toy for my dogs. Besides let’s be honest—I’d much rather have some hot girls serving my food than a snotty nosed teen with a wiener complex.