So I’m going to pull out my English geek for this post & put her on full display. I’ve been thinking about Thanksgiving (like everybody else in the US) & how at this time of year we focus on being thankful. I am thankful for a great many things in spite of the very hard year we’ve had. However, I was talking to the divine Ms. Davis & she said not only was she thankful for me (wow, I like that people feel that way about me) but also grateful. It made me think about the two words & how they seem to be very similar. So I fired up my google & checked Merriam-Webster online for the “official” definitons. What I found gave me reason to do some serious thinking….
Main Entry: grate·fulPronunciation: \?gr?t-f?l\Function: adjectiveEtymology: obsolete grate pleasing, thankful, from Latin gratus — more at graceDate: 1552
1 a : appreciative of benefits received b : expressing gratitude <grateful thanks>
2 a : affording pleasure or contentment : pleasing b : pleasing by reason of comfort supplied or discomfort alleviated
Main Entry: thank·fulPronunciation: \?tha?k-f?l\Function: adjectiveDate: before 12th century
1 : conscious of benefit received <for what we are about to receive make us truly thankful>
2 : expressive of thanks <thankful service>
3 : well pleased : glad <was thankful that it didn’t rain>
I’m going with definition 1 in each case. The first thing that struck me was the way benefits are recognized. In being grateful there is an appreciation of benefits received while with thankful there is conciousness of benefits received. That difference pulled me up short. So many times people say they are thankful for their family, job, house, food etc. (there are always things for which to be thankful) but how many people are grateful for these same things?
Being grateful means that you appreciate the benefits & not just merely recognize that they exist (thankful).
Main Entry: ap·pre·ci·atePronunciation: \?-?pr?-sh?-??t, -?pri- also -?pr?-s?-\Function: verbInflected Form(s): ap·pre·ci·at·ed; ap·pre·ci·at·ingEtymology: Late Latin appretiatus, past participle of appretiare, from Latin ad- + pretium price — more at priceDate: 1655
transitive verb 1 a : to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of <appreciate the difference between right and wrong> b : to value or admire highly <appreciates our work> c : to judge with heightened perception or understanding : be fully aware of <must see it to appreciate it> d : to recognize with gratitude <certainly appreciates your kindness>
2 : to increase the value ofsynonyms appreciate, value, prize, treasure, cherish mean to hold in high estimation. appreciate often connotes sufficient understanding to enjoy or admire a thing’s excellence <appreciates fine wine>. value implies rating a thing highly for its intrinsic worth <values our friendship>. prize implies taking a deep pride in something one possesses <Americans prize their freedom>. treasure emphasizes jealously safeguarding something considered precious <a treasured memento>. cherish implies a special love and care for something <cherishes her children above all>.
Now I suppose you are wondering exactly what my point in all this is…after all thankful & grateful are tied together pretty closely. Well mostly my point is that while I have certainly been conscious of the benefits in my life I haven’t necessarily been terribly appreciative. After all I’m certainly thankful for my family, friends, house etc etc etc…but I have failed (sometimes miserably) in expressing that attitude.
I’m not being critical of myself like I tend to be normally when I have fallen short of a mark (whether it is one of my own making or not) although I am adding it to my list of things to be more aware of doing in the future. With the horror of 2009 coming to a close & the big big changes of 2010 speeding toward me I am grateful, thankful & blessed for my life, my husband & my dear friends who are close in spirit if not actual distance. Please remember to be active in showing your thankfulness not only now but also every day of the year.