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Archive for the ‘Embarrassing stuff I make Abe do to entertain me.’ Category

Seen Your Weiner or Why I Prefer Hooters

09 Nov

Lately life has been hectic & overwhelming to the point where I’m a hot mess.  Recently I’ve been off work quite a bit (ok in the last 2 weeks I’ve worked a total of  5 days) and it has reinforced my need to be done at my current job.  However I digress…this post is a review.  As a recent music reviewer (which I so enjoyed & hope to do again) I now take pen in hand ….ok keyboard in hand…to give you a review of a new restaurant in Sioux Falls, SD.  If you are looking for an adventure in eating I will admit that Señor Wiener is an adventure.  However, it’s a frightening adventure filled with double entendre of the lowest caliber.  There is nothing clever about the innuendo & even less cleverness in the menu.

Purporting to be a novelty hot dog restaurant this place lays on the schtick with a trowel.  Wieners, wieners everywhere & no relief in sight (bring your R O L A I D S–just so you are prepared).

the front window

Now from the outside there’s room for a few snickers & groans at the over the top signs.  Just inside the door is a large statue of Señor Wiener along with posters of our “hero” in iconic places/events.  The menu is basic & has the potential to be pretty good & seemingly inexpensive.  The offerings start with bratwurst, all beef hot dogs, corn dogs or Polish sausage.  Choose your white or whole wheat bun & whether you want grilled, boiled or fried.  For $2.50 it seems like a good deal…then the pick-pocketing begins.  For every additional topping that’s hot (chili, cheese, grilled onions etc) or every cold topping (onions, pickles, peppers, shredded lettuce, shredded cheese, mushrooms, olives etc) it is an additional $.50 & sauces (mayo, hot sauce,barbecue sauce, gravy) are an additional $.25 with the exceptions of traditional ketchup & mustard.  Seriously if you want a Chicago-style dog with all the fixings: onions, relish, tomato, kosher dill pickle & sport peppers your hot dog now costs $5.00 plus tax.  Add in fries at $2.50 & a soda at $1.50 and you are looking at $9.00 plus tax for a very mediocre meal.

Now for the rest of the restaurant…okay I get why Señor Wiener is funny in the most sophomoric of ways.  I mean the first time I heard it & saw it I snickered like a 13 year old.  It’s funny but the over-the-top nature makes Hooters seem less absurd.  Here’s a small taste of what I encountered ….

the booths

the bonfire accessories

using the bonfire accessories--umm YIKES!

for the girl with no shame

stating the obvious

stating the obvious 2.0

I don't know what he's doing but I don't want him parked in front of my house....

All in all I will take a trip to Hooters any day.  Sure there’s more butt cheek on display there than I really care to see & if I wanted to look at that much cleavage I could do it for free at home but their wings are pretty damn tasty. If I am going to tolerate body parts (or pseudo body parts) with my meal I want something that is more like actual food & less like a chew toy for my dogs. Besides let’s be honest–I’d much rather have some hot girls serving my food than a snotty nosed teen with a wiener complex.

 
 

Cave-ing

11 Oct

I’m feeling like a trip down memory lane again today & this is another one the that makes me laugh ’til I cry &/or snort.  Whenever Abe really wants to make me laugh he will mention our one & only “real” vacation.  Back when life was good & full of promise we decided to take a vacation…so I planned a week long trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota.  I booked online & we chose the first week in October. (I will never go there during the summer again if I can avoid it…it was heavenly to be there & avoid the crowds.)  A lot of the tourist traps were closed but the good stuff was open & we were able to wander around without feeling like we were in a herd of cattle.  When I booked online I chose a package which included passes to the Badlands, Mount Rushmore, Wind Cave & Custer State Park among a few other things.

The Badlands was amazing & we spent a glorious afternoon off-roading through the southern part–totally alone on the windswept buttes & as we drove out at sunset we were lucky enough to drive through the herd of buffalo.  We were so close we could nearly touch them.  They were completely undisturbed by our presence so we coasted along for quite awhile watching them.  I was lucky enough to experience a truly primitive moment when one of the large bulls looked me right in the eye as we drove past…

Anyway, one day we drove to Wind Cave National Park…this was my first time in a cave & although I am a bit claustrophobic I was a trooper (at least I think so….) and just held my breath when I got scared.  It was amazing & beautiful — some of the best scenery I’ve ever had the pleasure of photographing.  Someday I’ll get ambitious & post them here.  One of the most memorable things about the tour was our guide….

Picture, if you will, a tall woman…ordinary in every way, very pleasant manner & the speaking cadence of Keanu Reeves in “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure”.  Yes you heard me…suddenly all I could see was Keanu in drag…it is a memory that both haunts & amuses me.  In order to give you the full experience please take a trip with me into the cave….(this is all in a California surfer voice…very nasal from a woman born & raised in the Midwest) It went a little something like this–

“So, like there’s tons of cavers (I’m thinking what in the world is a caver?) in like Russia & Mexico.  They’re super great & like laid back and stuff.  So if you think you wanna go caving (the English major shudders even thinking that word) like just go & you’ll like have the awesomest time.  I mean I went caving in Mexico right? It was just really like so fun.  All these people just like hang out in caves, ya know, and explore.  There’s just so much cool stuff to do when caving….there’s the tunnels & the crawling around….and then there’s like just all this really cool stuff to see.”

Now I understood what she meant when using “caving”….I am fairly well-read & I love words so it wasn’t that I had trouble grasping the definition.  However, I am much more familiar with the term spelunking ….the word “caving” falls into that horrible place where words are turned into verbs for no good reason. I personally don’t understand it…just saying.  Well, the monologue went on like that for some time…since just typing like that has given me a nervous tic I must stop there. ( It was amusing & yet horrifying as Abe & I had to listen to that for over an hour.  I nearly threw myself into a pitch black hole to avoid it but Abe restrained me & promised me a stiff drink if I could soldier on.  If I can find the video we took (I believe we have audio of the guide talking) I may have to attempt an upload so you can get the full effect.

We did have a great time & it was fascinating to see all the formations. The one thing that always comes back to us though is the “caving” & the “cavers”….so like anybody wanna go caving & like totally have the funnest, most awesomest time ever? (in my best Valley Girl accent).

 
 

Fleur de Lys Surprise

07 Oct

My husband is amazing! He is also so sneaky & patient it stuns me.  Our 7th anniversary was August 31st & with everything so hectic & topsy-turvy we didn’t really celebrate.  We did have a quiet evening at home & time together is always the best.

Today I got a surprise belated anniversary gift.  It is the most beautiful necklace & Abe worked with one of my Twitter friends @Silversmyth who designed & made it.  I met Julie through a mutual friend who had also worked with her in designing a custom piece.  I was so impressed with her work I told Abe if he ever wanted to get me something special that he should contact Julie.  I also bookmarked her website http://silversmyth.com/ so that I would remember to keep up with her ever-growing collection of jewelry.

Now I know ya’ll are either super curious to know what the necklace looks like or you’ve seen the pics on Twitter already & my gushing has made you sick.  For the curious I will satisfy you soon….for you sickies–well I hope you have your own sick bag ‘cuz I don’t provide them.

me showing off my new necklace

me showing off my new necklace

(okay so not the best pic of me ever but focus on the shiny silver necklace & it’s not so bad…)

my beautiful custom made fleur de lys necklace

my beautiful custom made fleur de lys necklace

The reason Abe picked the fleur de lys is because he knows how much I love that  particular symbol.  I like it because it is pretty, French & can be very swirly & girly.  I love it because the 3 pieces have always represented us. Abe & I on each side & the middle is us together…the band around it is the bond we share as friends & spouses.  To me it represents how we are separate people yet we share a life & a common goal.  We have promised to remain bound together through this life & it is something I cherish.  Seeing a fleur de lys reminds me of how lucky I am to have found Abe…he puts up with my moods, supports me when I’m struggling with depression & laughs at my jokes, wild stories and how I will be completely exhausted at 2 am yet suddenly be unable to stop talking to him about all the little weird thoughts that swirl through my brain.  It reminds me that in spite of how VERY aggravating he can be with his secret smiles, teasing & purposely misunderstanding my every word just so he can watch me stamp my foot I adore the ground he walks on.

So to Abe I say–Wow I can’t believe you managed to surprise me! Thank you for making every day that we share special just by being you. I hope you are happy with my reaction (I was totally speechless for at least a minute) & that you are proud of me for being so good & not putting my great detective skills and undying curiosity to work so I could find out what you were sneaking around about for so long.  It was so freaking hard not to rip that box open at lunch today…it,  like everything else with you, was totally worth every agonizing second.

the picture Abe got months ago...and managed to hide from me.

the picture Abe got months ago...and managed to hide from me.

 
 

My 2nd 5k

11 Jul

Today was the big day…for the 2nd Annual Friends of Don Sather 5k Run/Walk.  Which I was pre-registered to participate in (along with Hubby this year).  First a little backstory on the whole event.

{The inaugural event was July 10th of last year (2008) & was put together to help raise money for medical bills associated with the treatment for ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) for a local man.  His classmates (Class of ’71) got together & decided to help Don out.  It was a great success & we raised a significant sum of money to help  him out (along with some of the proceeds going to ALS research).  This past spring Don passed away…but his hope was that our little town would keep the 5k alive in his memory & work to help find a cure for ALS…which brings us back to today.}

After last year’s walk (I did it alone…on a whim) I was determined to do it again this year.  I did set some specific goals for myself in the meantime.  I wanted to be in better shape & prepared to better my time this year.  Did that happen?…well not so much.  With my always irritating gallbladder & life too I rather lost my way in the “get in shape” plan.  I started out pretty good too…was working hard every day, building my stamina and looking forward to a good showing at this year’s race.  Then I got sidetracked, run down & my motivation took the last train out of Slugville.

Still I decided to go ahead & walk this year…while I don’t feel so awesome (damn gallbladder) I decided I could still do it.  So this evening I laced up my new Ryka’s (not brand new…I’ve been using them in my WiiFit workouts so they’re broken in just not road worn), stretched my body out good,

starting to stretch

before the race
Abe getting ready for the race.

grabbed a water bottle (after I took the shuttle from parking to the starting line…which in this case was a very comfy Lincoln Navigator.  Ahh, I love riding in style) & promptly set off at the sound of the air horn.

This year the course was through Savanna State Park rather than on the highway.  There were pros & cons to the new course.  Being in the park it was much cooler and there was some shade.  Of course we were walking on a narrow gravel road rather than a newly paved two-lane highway…this meant some soft places where the runners especially had to watch out.  Since we were in the park there was no way to avoid any traffic either…this meant sucking on a giant dust cloud every time someone drove past.

As we walked…I picked a pace I was comfortable with which meant we were quickly left behind…the course wound downhill back toward the park entrance.  I was feeling good, enjoying the sunshine filtering through the trees & my mind was alternating between composing the beginning of this post and providing some encouraging thoughts.  We wound up & down hill (this was a con—too many hills!!) to the park entrance.  As we approached the turn I was feeling great…except for the blister I could feel forming on the outside of my right instep.  Our pace was reasonable & we didn’t seem to be too far behind some of the other walkers.  The official time announced for the 1st half was 32 minutes.  I felt pretty good about that…considering I’m almost completely out of shape (no wait round is a shape right?)

So we began our trek back to the finish line…up hill.  The sun was filtering down in longer shadows and the aspen leaves rustled impatiently at our passing.  Wanting to keep on pace I pushed myself up the hills (did I mention the hills?) and lengthened my stride on the few downward slopes.  Of course I’m starting to breathe hard, my legs are feeling it a bit & my gallbladder is hammering against my right side.  Abe in the meantime has had his headphones in, calmly keeping up with me…no accelerated breathing, no sweat pouring down his back.  He didn’t even have to lengthen his stride as I chugged up the hills (yep that’s right…it was hilly).  {Side note: Of course keeping to my pace Abe’s stride was pretty comfortable so unless for some insane reason I broke into a full on run he wouldn’t have to lengthen his stride very much anyway}

2nd half of the race
Abe making it look easy.I was starting to wear out…my right foot felt like it was on fire (stupid random blister.  I even made sure I wore the right socks, my shoes were broken in properly…I did everything like I was supposed to do it.), my side was getting a bit tight &  I could feel the strain beginning to show.  Yet I kept going…not slowing my stride.  When we came to the final hill…yeppers that right, the end of the course was nothing but uphill all the way… I kept my head down & pushed myself the whole way.

After crossing the finish line I headed straight for the most secluded picnic table where I yanked off my right shoe & sock to reveal a 3″ long raw, blistered spot just below my instep.  Not pretty…it still hurts like crazy but in sandals it doesn’t rub so that helps.  All in all I feel pretty good.  I’ve got some sore muscles but nothing like last year!  My final time was 1:04 so I did just a little bit better than last year’s time without the feeling of an impending heart attack or stroke. Hmm, maybe I am in better shape….

Abe looking for a bandage for me...no luck

Abe relaxing after the race.

Loon Lake--this is where we sat to recover a bit.

A beautiful back drop to the end of my 5k day.

A beautiful back drop to the end of my 5k day.

 
 

It was so cold in Minnesota….

15 Jan

*How cold was it?!*  It was so cold I got this picture this morning.

003

That’s right it’s “Guitar Hero-Subzero”

Okay I’ll be honest, Abe was getting vehicles running & warm while I was supposed  to be getting ready to leave for Duluth.  In between checking vehicles he came in to work on his Guitar Hero.

 
 
 
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