Solitary Me

It’s been two months since we moved.  Hubby got a job & is working nearly 6 days a week.  I’m so proud of him & know he’s much happier.  I’m thankful that he’s able to get out & do what he loves. I however am at home every day.  I was ill throughout January & a good part of February.  On top of all that I’m struggling with not having a friends close by.  I feel so isolated from everything.  Getting up every day is a challenge….some days I do really well & others not so much.  My doctor put me on an anti-depressant & it is helping some.  Today isn’t one of those days….today is a curled in a ball, blanket over my head, box of kleenex crumpled around me kind of day. I feel like I might shatter into a million pieces like a porcelain doll handled carelessly.  My breath is choked off & I feel like I’m lost, wandering in a barren dark space.  The only thing that makes me feel anything good is when I feel Baby moving.  That little person means so much to me & I can’t wait to hold him/her. No idea why I started writing this actually….I haven’t had any interest in writing (or reading) these last months.  Seems like all my inspiration (or whatever it was) has dried up, disappeared & gone for good.  Maybe it’s living here on the prairie….the wind snatched my muse away on to a more deserving person. Sorry this is so disjointed. I don’t even really know what to say except being solitary me hurts.