Something Creative
Wow, it’s December already. I can hardly believe it’s halfway through the month. In just a couple weeks we’ll be packing up a massive trailer & heading to South Dakota. It will be the first time I’ve lived outside of Minnesota in my life. Not that I haven’t done some traveling but I never felt the need to live anywhere besides here.
So my house is in disarray…like far more than what it’s really like. There are boxes everywhere—the one couch is half covered, most of the living room floor, the kitchen counter…well you get the idea. And of course where there aren’t boxes there are stacks of things needing to be wrapped & packed. I haven’t been the help I should be in all this packing either…the “morning sickness” (what a misnomer…I’m just plain nauseous all day long…wicked unending nausea. The only good thing has been no throwing up) keeps me from feeling like I can do much & I’m exhausted. Still I have been working on what I can like books, pictures & all the little fragile things I don’t want to trust anybody else with packing. The next big thing is going through my closet…this is going to be a big job & I’ve been procrastinating big time. However it’s going to have to be by the end of the weekend. There will be a bunch of clothes finding their way into the donation bin. I’m not too hard on clothes so anything that’s in good shape goes & anything not worth saving will go as extra padding for the mirrors, art & various glassware.
The thought of moving mostly just makes me cry…yes we’ll be moving to a great house & into better employment situations but there are so many things that I’m leaving behind. My sister Anne whom I am so fortunate to have…the fact that she married into the family in no way makes her any less of a sister than the ones who share bloodlines with me. I will miss the trips into “our” dressing room at Maurices to try on clothes. No matter how much I complain about how ridiculous I look it’s always fun to do it together. Her friendship has been invaluable to me & I love that we are always welcome in her home.
On top of everything else my depression hasn’t abated but I’m sublimating it as best I can…trying to focus on keeping calm (not an easy thing for me) and fake it. There are many days where I wake up in the middle of the night & just cry ‘til I fall back to sleep. I can’t explain the feeling…but it’s empty, desolate & black. When I can I play Mozart in my head; using it to calm myself & the baby. After all the dust of this month settles I’m hoping the light I need will make a dim glow somewhere nearby.
If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it!
-
http://littledailyescape.blogspot.com Megan
