Hmmmm….so I was feeling really pretty good going into October.  Had a few days of feeling almost normal….that’s gone though…a friend told me the other day if I’d lived during Dickens’ time I’d have come up with “Bah Humbug” first (and said it about myself).  Yeah well, I’d have been right too…. I don’t really know what to say anymore.  I feel trapped — I’ve got to find a way to suck it up ‘cuz that’s really my only option…. Yeah, whatever….I guess self-torture means I may be miserable but I feel something….if I’m lucky I’ll wake up tomorrow & be numb.  That would be really nice ‘cuz it would feel a lot better than crying through work & trying to hide it….
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