Something Creative
One bright but foggy autumn day a young receptionist walked to work & planned out her day. In her bag she carried her lunch & a snack. Since she had been unable to make up her mind there was a banana & a muffin for snack. They were busy arguing from the second it became apparent one of them would be the unchosen snack.
Banana was proud of his perfect yellow skin & bragged about all the potassium he would provide to be used as fuel when our girl went running later. Muffin scoffed, confident that his big puffy top & fiber content would help him win the snack contest. The yogurt, veggie sandwich & water Lunch listened to them aruge all the way up to the 15th floor. Finally when they were tucked away in the desk Lunch got fed up with the bickering. “Look, we are sick of you two arguing about this. What does it matter who is the left-behind snack?”
Banana responded, “It matters because whoever is chosen is the superior food. The chosen snack gets to fuel our girl through a critical part of her day”, with a proud lift of his stem Banana looked at Muffin. “I am THAT snack. Full of potassium & other minerals. Not to mention my vitamin capacity.”
“Vitamin capacity”, snorted Muffin, “What sort of nonsense is that? I am filled with fiber & carbohydrates to provide a longer boost of energy to ward of the fatigue & boredom during the long afternoon.”
“ALRIGHT! That’s it”, Lunch lost its temper, “We are going to settle this like proper food. None of this lunchbox squabbling…Muffin you put out the word to the morning coffee break snacks & Banana you let the afternoon sugar dip crowd know—We are gonna have ourselvs a Desktop Deathmatch! That’s right…10:30 right here when our girl takes her first bathroom break. A fifteen minute, no-holds-barred battle. As Lunch I will be the referee…Now get going.”
All morning the snack gossip was buzzing about the Desktop Deathmatch. There were rumors, hints of this happening before but the stories were so fantastic that nobody really believed there was any truth to them. Now the lunches & snacks were excited to see this legendary battle. Right on schedule our receptionist pulled the snacks out & set them on her desk, then got up & walked to the bathroom. Immediately there was a mad dash for the receptionist’s desk as lunches & snacks from all over the cubicle farm raced for seats at the Desktop Deathmatch arena. Word had spread as far away as the 7th floor & exotic looking snacks from Taiwan & Bolivia slinked toward the front to squeeze in with Carrots & Apples from Wisconsin. As Lunch slid into the ring the noise from the crowd was deafening.
Lunch motioned for quiet & began the announcement. “In the corner wearing the yellow trunks, weighing in at 10 oz is……MUFFIN”, Lunch points & Muffin shadow boxes. ”And in the blue trunks, weighing in at 11.73 oz is……BANANA”, Banana jumps up & down pumping his legs high. ”We’ve been over the rules…there really aren’t any rules and may the best snack WIN!”
The judges: Pudding, Rice Cakes & Popcorn watched closely as the bell rang & the fighters charged toward each other. The two fighters danced around & took theatrical jabs at each other. This lasted for awhile but the ravenous crowd started booing & screaming, “Come on…hit him. Stop being such a wuss, get in there and hit something. You suck, this is the worst fight I’ve ever seen!” As the crowd grew more rowdy Muffin got more brave.
Suddenly Muffin kicks Banana hard & Banana goes down. Muffin jumps & quickly snaps Banana’s stem in half. Banana manages to jump up & with a Chuck Norris-like roundhouse kick knocks out the front of Muffin’s glorious puffy top. Soon the two snacks were engaged in a melee & it was impossible to tell who was winning. The judges were about to ring the bell when out of the back and into the ring came Granola Bar with Almonds. Before Lunch or anybody else could react, Granola Bar quickly knocked out Banana & got Muffin into a full-Nelson. ”I AM ALL THAT IS SNACK!”
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