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By On July 12, 2009 · 2 Comments

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  • Rick Fisher

    Did you want the trains in twice..reminds me of de plane de plane. I like it better that you surprised me with trains- wasnt expecting that and it was a pleasant surprise..but to then see it repeated was like telling me “hey, just in case you didn’t notice, there are trains.”

    As for the rest of the poem- sweet perfection. One of your finest yet.

    • Nil17

      The second mention of trains has been removed. I had another line in there but it didn’t feel right & when I changed it I neglected to delete that bit at the end. Thanks for catching it.

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