The Great Steak Sale

About 2 weeks ago Abe & I had some errands to run & we ended up in at his brother’s to spend time with our nephews.  This is almost always the goal since we have a blast hanging out with the boys.  (Abe’s brother & wife are pretty fantastic—we love to do stuff with them too).  Anyway we were sitting in the living room when there was a knock on the front door.  We all looked out the picture window to see a kid of about 19 standing on the front deck. My sister-in-law Anne anwered the door & the kid asked if she’d be interested in buying some steaks.  Curious about this I looked more closely at the vehicle parked in the street.  There in big letters on the side of the van was “Northstar Meats”.  The kid talked to her for a bit & she agreed to let him leave a brochure. Next thing we know kid #1 (we’ll call him “Silent”) & kid #2 (slightly older we’ll call “Deal-Maker”) are standing in the entry with a box asking to come in.  Anne makes them take off their shoes & they walk into the living room, plop the box on the floor & start removing smaller boxes.  Deal-Maker kneels on the floor & starts opening the smaller boxes.  Each one filled with steaks.  There had to be 5-6 boxes filled with different cuts of steak plus the bonus “steak burger” box.  “Silent” now stands back & off to the side like some apprentice steak seller. Deal-Maker: So what we have here is our case of steak.  Price is on the flyer you are holding.  We got your New York strip, your filet, your filet bacon wraps…plus we offer a 1 year money back guarantee. Me: Okay so for 5 boxes of steak & a box of burger you want $350? Deal-Maker: Yeah! It’s a great deal.  Nice looking steaks huh?  I mean in the store you’re gonna pay like $16 or more for these New York strip alone. Anne is shaking her head at me most emphatically at this point.  Of course I see her but decide to keep going just to see where it will end up. Me: You know we’re just not interested.  It’s too much money. Deal-Maker:  Well this is our last case & we want to get rid of it.  Tell you what, you buy this case & we’ll throw in another one for free. *Yes I noticed that suddenly the “last” case was two* Me: No, still can’t do that.  I could go buy a 1/4 beef for about $400 & I’d get ribs, roasts plus the steaks.  Besides times are tough, we’ve got people looking for jobs and stuff. Deal-Maker: Well let’s see I can give you this one case for $177.  That’s a great deal…I mean look at how nice these are.  You cant’ beat these. Anne is still shaking her head & commenting on how if only her husband were there they could talk it over.  I’m using my phone calculator to figure out exactly how much it would be to split the cost. Me: No, sorry that ‘s still just too much.  I have other groceries I need to buy.  I can’t just eat steak. (Well I could but it’d be a pretty bad idea) Deal-Maker: Okay well I can’t get much stupider on the price but how about if I give you the whole case for $149.50. I look at Anne & show her the split would still be $74.25 and shook my head to tell her I still thought the price was insane.  She nodded in agreement.  Meanwhile Abe is holding the baby, the 3 year old & the dog are running around crazy. Me:  Sorry that just isn’t in the budget right now.  Can we keep the flyer?  Also, is it possible to buy just a single box of steaks? Deal-Maker:  Sure the prices for a single box are listed on the back of the flyer. Me: *turning over the flyer* Really?  I just don’t see spending over $50 for 6-10 steaks. Deal-Maker: Tell you what I can give you this box of bacon wrapped filets for $40 as a trial. Me: Sorry that’s just out of my price range right now. Deal-Maker:  Okay make me an offer….if it’s reasonable you can have it. Me:  Okay how about $30.  That’s $3/steak. Deal-Maker:  Ummm, okay, okay$30 it is.  Do you have cash? Me: No, I never carry cash.  I’ve got checks & a debit card. Abe:  I’ve got $29 but that’s it. Deal-Maker: *now in a tremendous hurry before we talk him down any further….* Perfect.  You won’t regret it. These are fantastic.  I guarantee you’ll be back ordering more. They raced out the door while I laughed at my conquest of $2.90 bacon-wrapped filet mignon.  My nephew immediately began asking for steak for dinner.  We’ve enjoyed those steaks.  They provided us (and my nephew) with a great evening this past Sunday.