Something Creative
I’ve decided that I should become an evil genius with designs on world domination. Of course I’m not looking to walk in the footsteps of the “Axis of Evil” by any means. I’ve decided that this bid for ultimate power will be hallmarked by unusual, impossible WMD’s.
My brother TJ gave me the idea when we discussed the proliferation of people with miniaturized natural wonders lingering in their backyards. He said that the next logical step would be to make miniature natural disasters. This discussion gave birth to the idea of a pocket-quake. A small, pocket-sized earthquake that could be placed anywhere you might want to cause small scale devastation. For example, the neighbors dog keeps coming over into your yard to do its business. Place a small pocket-quake in the dog’s favorite spot & set it off at the right time. I guarantee the dog doesn’t come back.
My second weapon came about after a run-in with current women’s fashion. In shopping for dress pants I discovered that the current trend of wide leg pants allows for way more room that I really need for my ankles. I believe that I could hide a ninja midget or twelve up each pant leg. Having a group of highly trained group of fighters & assassins is very important. Of course since I want to appear as harmless as possible what better place to keep a crack team of ninjas than up a pants leg. Plus there’s the benefit of a workout since carrying a group of ninja midgets would have to be great exercise.
I also decided that adding a Frisbee size sinkhole to my “arsenal of impossibility” would be advantageous. Imagine if you will the ways this could come in handy. Need to clear some land for redevelopment. Toss out a few sinkholes & let nature do the rest. Then just pick up the sinkhole a la Bugs Bunny & things are all cleaned up. Have an enemy you are stalking but have been unable to catch? Toss a sinkhole in front of them on the street & just like that they are your captive. Pick up the sinkhole & stroll back to your secret hideout.
Of course with the ability to wreck small scale destruction an evil genius also needs the ability to hide the destruction. What better way to manage this than with the microscopic black holes created with the Large Hadron supercollider at CERN. It’s the perfect solution for both parties. CERN wouldn’t have to worry about what to do with the black holes they are creating in the Large Hadron supercollider & I would have a way to clean up my crimes. Done with torturing a spy? Flick a black hole at the spy & poof mess cleaned up. Need to clean your lair but too busy planning your next evil deed? Flick some microscopic black holes at the worst of the mess & it’s gone.
Now I know that some of my readers are going to think I’ve finally gone completely around the bend. That’s okay. As an evil genius insanity is a requirement. Besides, I have a weapon with your name on it….
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